A Girl Can Only Dream
by Kris10rox
Summary: Some unexpected things happen that throw off Tommy's plans..new relationships are formed and some are torn apart. Jude starts doing unexpected things..in the end..what will become of Jude and Tommy? R
1. Chapter 1 Not ready

**A/N - Hey ya'll..some of you might know me from my story "To not be okay" which I am totally happy with and I'm glad ya'll who did read it liked it so much. Now, I'm not too sure about this story but I have an idea..and..this chapter is short but it's kinda just to see if ya'll like the idea or not? I don't know..but please review and tell me whether I should continue or not?**

** A Girl Can Only Dream**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star**

**Chapter 1 - Not ready**

"Jude!" Tommy called after the young woman exiting the studio. She left in tears and didn't turn around when she heard her name. She was now out of view and Tommy stood in the doorway of G-major looking at the road she just walked down, in dissapointment. This was the last time he'd get to spend time with her as her producer and she was just going to walk away?

Tommy slammed his fist against the brick wall and allowed the blood to seep down his knuckles. He didn't feel any pain at the moment, not physically anyway. After doing so, he pushed his back against the wall and slid down to the ground. Cupping his face in his hands, he thought about all the mistakes he had made. He never should have got with..

"Tom, what was that about?" Kwest had seen Jude and Tommy in the studio yelling at eachother but couldn't make out the words since the room is sound proof and all.

"I told her.." Kwest nodded knowingly.

"She would have found out..sooner than later," He sunk to tommy's level.

"I messed up," Tommy, finally realizing the blood pouring on the ground, held his bleeding hand in his other one.

"Well, at least your with someone its actually legal to be with," Kwest didn't want to push Tommy too much, knowing how angry he could get.

"I don't love her, man," Kwest got up and pulled tommy up by his arm. When both were at their feet they walked inside and got some ice for tommy's hand.

Jude walked in the house to find music blaring and Sadie singing and dancing around the living room. Jude rolled her eyes and wiped her face to make sure her tears were gone before she started towards the staircase.

"Jude! mom won't be here all weekend, shes out with dan." Sadie said, out of breath.

"Woohoo." She said sarcastically.

"What is your problem?" Sadie turned the music down and followed her sister up to her room. Jude turned around and stared at Sadie for a moment.

"Nothing.." She wasn't ready to talk right now. With that she opened the door and quickly walked in. Sadie stood outside of the room for a minute trying to think of what could be wrong with Jude.

After realizing a few things she pushed her hair behind her ears and walked back downstairs, nervously. Jude threw her bag on the floor and looked at herself in the mirror, quickly. After she fixed her eyeliner she grabbed her guitar case and left the room again. Once at the bottom of the staircase, Sadie asked her where she was going but she brushed her question off and walked out of the house. Jude walked the streets aimlessly before stopping in front of her studio. She walked into the old building and as soon as she came to the door she heard guitar. She opened the door. Speid jumped and turned to face Jude. Jude giggled at his jumpiness.

"Hey, what were you playing?" She asked, letting the door close behind her.

"Just some new stuff," He layed his guitar in his case and began to snap the latches shut. Things had been weird between the two lately and it seemed like every time they were alone, speid tried to get away as fast as possible. She didn't know what was going on with him.

"You leaving?" She set her guitar down against the couch.

"Uh..yeah, the guys wanted to hang out and..yeah," The lie came off the top of his head and he was fairly satisfied with it. He looked over at her and noticed her sad eyes.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm good," She lied, she really needed someone to talk to but she could tell he was uncomfortable around her for some reason.

"Alright then..later," He picked up his guitar and walked out. Jude was left alone.

Tommy and Kwest forgot their earlier conversation and started to wrap up judes second album. It only needed a few touch ups, but still it would take a while. Tommy had head phones on and was messing with different knobs on the soundboard when his cell phone vibrated against his leg. He pulled his head phones off and aggravatedly answered the phone.

"Yeah?"

"Hey.."

Tommy looked over at Kwest who was now interested in what and who his friend was talking to. Tommy got up and walked towards the door to get some privacy so Kwest continued to repair Jude's songs.

"Sadie, what is it?" He asked, a little more harsh than intended.

"Jude just left here, she was pretty upset..did you tell her?"

Tommy didn't answer.

"You told her?"

"She needed to know why I wasn't going to be her producer anymore Sadie!"

"But..now? already?"

"Considering this is my last day here, yes, now." He wasn't in the mood to deal with this.

"Oh..yeah..okay well, call me later, alright?"

"Bye." He hung up the phone and slammed it on the soundboard. Kwest pulled down his headphones.

"Sadie?"

"Yeah," Tommy said, emotionless.

"You have to stop acting like that towards her." Kwest said.

Tommy sat down next to him and held his face in his hands as he did earlier.

"I know," He was breaking down inside and the only person he could think about in the matter was Jude. Things weren't going good with Sadie and him and he was finally getting somewhere with Jude. He had never cheated on Sadie..not physically anyway. But, Jude and him were finally getting closer and now this had to happen. Everything had to get so screwed up.

"I'm not ready to be a dad," He groaned into his hands..

**A/N - So? I know it is realllllllllly short but like I said its only the beginning and its just to show off the idea, and most of you know I am a firm JOMMY fan so dont let what you have read so far mislead you..have faith in me! hehe**


	2. Chapter 2 Forget

**A/N - Oooo thank you you guys! I'm so glad you liked it so far and like I said before..have faith ya'll..I only believe in Jude/Tommy so..keep that in mind! And another thing..Jude's mom's boyfriend..his name is Don so..sorry about that heh..okay well Keep reviewing so I know if you're still interested or not, k? Thanks again.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 2 - Forget**

"I'm not ready to be a dad, " He groaned into his hands.

Kwest patted Tommy on the back.

"It'll be okay, man." He tried to sound as convincing as possible.

"We're talking about Sadie here," He reminded Kwest.

"What is wrong with Sadie?" Kwest asked, deffensively.

Tommy gave his friend a weird look.

"Whats not wrong with Sadie?" He asked.

"Tom..that is your baby's mother,"

"There is no 'baby' yet," He reminded.

"Shes not having an abortion, is she?"

"Tom?"

"No, shes not having an abortion..she wouldn't even consider it.."

"You asked her to?" Kwest was shocked with his friend. He didn't think Tommy would do something like that.

"Kwest, I am not ready to be a dad and I don't love her..It is not fair to her," He thought about the one girl who was always invading his mind and it made him clench his jaw in anger.

"You've got to get over her,Tom," Kwest stood and started towards the door.

"Because right now..you are not being fair to Sadie," With that Kwest left the recording room and then left the studio. Tommy sat listening to Jude's completed album. This was it. His services at G-major were no longer wanted. Flashes of the past few weeks went through his head.

_"Only a few more songs until this album is finished!" Jude said, happily. Tommy smiled and watched her pace about the room with a pen and paper in hand._

_"You're never going to get lyrics that way," He tried not to laugh at her eagerness. She glared at him._

_"You think you can do better?" She asked, boldly. Tommy held up his hands in deffense._

_"Didn't think so." She continued to pace and click the pen multiple times._

Tommy smiled at that memory. She was always acting like that and he loved every minute of it. Sadie on the other hand always sucked up to him and acted like a Tommy-Q fan and not a true girlfriend. He never felt that she liked, or loved him for him. It always, from the beginning, seemed like she loved Lil Tommy Q..not Thomas Quincy. Jude didn't care what his name was or how he acted around her. He could trust her with anything and everything but..that was all out the window now.

_"The song itself needs more.." Tommy trailed off. Before he could finish his sentence his cell phone started to play aloud. He sighed._

_"Hold on a second," He told Jude before leaving the room and walking into the lobby of G-major._

_"Hello?"_

_"Hey Tom.." Sadie's timid voice came through the phone._

_"Sadie, I'm working,"_

_"Yeah..I know, I'm sorry but..theres something I need to tell you," She spoke nervously._

_"This can't wait?" He watched Jude through the glass. Tommy smiled._

_"No Tommy this can't wait," _

_"Well what is it then?"_

_"I'm..pregnant Tom," Tommy's eyes widened._

To this day those words haunted him. Why? why did he have to go and do something so stupid?

After talking to Sadie more about it, Darius also, everyone decided that it would be best if Tommy stopped working with Jude. She didn't need the reminder lingering around the studio of what she could have had. Even Darius knew her feelings towards Tommy. Everyone knew how the two felt about eachother and everyone knew that they would be together if there weren't so many obstacles, Sadie herself knew that.

Jude's last song finished and the last words lingered through the air for a few moments before Tommy acknowledged that it was in fact over. Tommy took out the disk and put it safely in a C.D case before walking towards the door. He stopped to flick off the light switch and he took a minute to eye the studio.

"It's all over.." He mumbled before walking out.

Jude was now back at the house and trying to avoid Sadie as much as possible. She locked herself in her room and occasionally she would hear banging on her door but she refused to answer it. After hearing that Tommy was abandoning her and his reasons why..she didn't want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to sit by herself and write. She took out her notebook and started to write songs for her new album.

_Come on don't lie to me_

_I know, you didn't want it to be _

_Like this, don't smile at me_

_Cause what ya get is what ya see.._

_Everything you said, became a lie_

_I sold my heart a thousand times_

_Just to find.._

_Another dissapointment_

_Now, whose gonna clean up the peices? _

_Whose gonna cure my tragedy ?_

_I cried to you a million times_

_You looked away without thinking twice_

_Brushing away my feelings_

_Like I didn't matter.._

_Whose to blame?_

_Whose to blame? _

_I'm left alone.._

She hugged the notebook close to her chest and shed the last tears she would allow herself to shed for Thomas Quincy. It was time to move on. She could do it..right?

**A/N - So? how was it?..I believe it's getting off to a rocky start..please review:)**


	3. Chapter 3 Never normal

**A/N - Hey you guys thanks for all your reviews, they were great. I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner but I've had Finals and everything..and I kinda had a hard time writing this chapter so please don't dislike it? It's not that interesting. It should get more interesting in a chapter or two but in the mean time this is what I've come up with. Once again keep in mind that I am a firm Jude/Tommy lover..I hate Sadie..with a passion..heh..yeah..don't forget that! Hehe**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star...yet..lol**

**Chapter 3 - Never normal**

- 2 Months into Sadie's pregnancy -

Jude had finally accepted that it wasn't meant to be with Tommy. Sadie and him were meant, the baby was proof of that. Though she accepted it she was still having a hard time coping with it. Her grades in school were dropping and she was becoming more and more distant from her friends, including Tommy.

"Come on Jude!" Sadie called from downstairs. She had talked Jude into going to the mall with her to shop for some stylish baggy clothes. Since she was about to start showing she needed to be comfortable and she didn't own any clothes that weren't skin tight.

"Coming.." Jude muttered, throwing her hair up in a sloppy pony tail and allowing her bangs to hang in her face. She didn't care what she looked like anymore.

She looked at her pail complection in the mirror for only a few seconds before she got disgusted and walked out of her bathroom. She pulled a hoodie on slowly and walked downstairs.

"It took you that long to dress like that?" Sadie rolled her eyes.

"Sadie, don't start. I don't even want to go," Jude complained, stepping into her converse.

"Aww come on, it'll be fun!" Sadie said cheerfully.

"Oh yeah..tons of fun," Jude mocked.

Sadie rolled her eyes and pulled her sister out of the house and had to literally drag her to the car. Once the two were finally in and Sadie started driving she decided to bring up something she had been avoiding the past month or so.

"So, hows everything at the studio?" Sadie asked. Jude looked out the window and watched the different cars go by.

"Okay I guess,"

"And everything with Kwest?" Sadie asked, rather quickly. Jude turned and looked at her sister skeptically.

"He's fine.."

"Oh, okay..just asking because he is your new producer and all," Sadie turned her attention back to the road and Jude stared at her in disbelief.

"Yes, yes he is. He's a great producer too,"

"Not hard to believe," Sadie said, half-smiling. Jude caught on to her smile and narrowed her eyes a bit.

"Yeah, you know Kwest is a really good guy.."

"That he is," Sadie agreed.

"I was thinking maybe, me and him..you know..would maybe hit it off?" Jude stated. She didn't really believe this but Sadie was acting just down right weird and somewhat possesive over Kwest? Jude tried to keep a straight face, which wasn't too difficult considering the mood she was in already.

Sadie glanced from the road to her sister atleast three times before speaking.

"Jude, you're still 17 you know," She said a bit snootily.

"Yeah, well, not everyone is so focused on the age difference. Some people take chances for the ones they care about," She said harshly. Sadie said nothing more. The rest of the ride to the mall was in complete silence.

Tommy was now signed with another studio. Darius helped get him the job, though it wasn't hard. His new boss' name was Matt Incson, Tommy wasn't too fond of the guy but hey it was a job and he needed the money. He was now taking on three new artists, two girls and a boy. Sarah, Natalie, and Jamar.

Sarah was a short, small framed, long haired blonde with brown eyes. She was 19 and totally into Tommy.  
Natalie was just a bit taller than Sarah and had straight jet black hair and blue eyes. She was 18.

Jamar on the other hand was 17, slim and matched Tommy's height.

Today was Tommy's time with Sarah. It seemed as though everytime they were together and working on her Popish-like songs they ended up in innapropriate conversations. Sarah egged the conversations on and Tommy tried to avoid them.

She walked into the studio.

"Hey Tommy," She smiled at him seductively.

"Hey Sarah.." He looked up from his papers that were filled with her lyrics. He tried to sound enthusiastic but it just wasn't worth trying anymore.

"Aww, Tommy whats the matter?" She pulled up a stool really close to Tommy and strattled it, facing him.

Tommy hessitated but moved his chair back a bit.

"Nothing, now, about these lyrics-"

"Tommy come on, whats wrong?" She scooted the stool closer to him and placed a hand on his knee. This time he didn't move..

"What about this?" Sadie held up a T-shirt that read, "Blondes have more fun," The shirt itself looked like it could hold three Sadies inside. Jude couldn't help but laugh. She eyed her sisters small form and couldn't see her wearing something like that. Sadie scoffed and hung the shirt back on the rack.

"You've done that with every shirt so far!" She said, frustratedly looking through some more clothes.

"Sorry, It's just..I can't picture you in that," Jude tried to hide her smirk. Sadie noticed and glared.

"Well you better get use to it," And with that Sadie walked across the store. Jude watched and shook her head. _'Yeah..get use to it,'_ She thought.

She continued looking through the enormous shirts for a few minutes until finally giving up.

"Have you looked at the stretch pants yet?" She asked, eyeing the rack of pants and walking towards them.

Sadie visibly twitched and swallowed hard.

"Stretch pants?" She could barely say the two words together.

"Yeah..these," Jude held up a pair of pink cotton stretch pants.

Sadie looked the pants over skeptically and held out her hand to touch them.

"Well.." She started. Jude smiled and put them in Sadie's hands completely.

"They're fine," She said before going through some more of the pants. Sadie hessitantly nodded and watched Jude look through the pants. She smiled. They hadn't fought in atleast an hour, this had to be a good sign right?

"Hey Sades, I'll be right back," Jude said, snapping her sister out of her daze.

"Yeah, ok," Sadie replied, walking back to the other side of the store looking at T-shirts again.

Jude pushed her hands inside of her sweatshirt and walked across the mall to a music store. This was her favorite cd shop of all time because it had the best variety and a few of the kids that worked there went to her school. Once inside she immediately went to the rock section. She smiled to herself when she saw her name on one of the tabs but not any cds. They were sold out.

"Wow.." She said quietly.

"You did good," A voice came from behind her. Jude almost jumped out of her skin. Her heart beat sped up and then she turned around to face the person. When she seen who it was it sped up even more.

"Hey speid.."

"Look sarah..I-" Sarah pulled her fingers to his lips.

"Shh, its okay," She started to pull her face closer to his until he finally got up and backed up, pulling the stool between them.

"I'm having a baby, I don't need this," He stated firmly. She smirked and walked beside him, brushing up against him, purposely. She finally made it to the recording room and pulled on her head phones, motioning him to start recording. He sighed heavily and she smirked once again, seeing the effect she had on him.

He pushed a button that started the recording. Her voice started through the mic, it was almost hypnotising.

_'Tell me your secret_

_Make me your fantasy_

_I'll make you forget her._

_I could be your ecstasy_

_Every ounce of hope I have and_

_Every kiss with you I know.._

_You're meant for me_

_Like the sun and the rain,_

_It falls into play_

_Eternal as the earth and the sun_

_I want to be your number one-_

"Alright, go straight to the end," Tommy said through the intercom. She nodded.

_Don't try to fight it_

_No don't hide it_

_Show me the real you_

_I'll be true.._

_You're meant for me..'_

After Sarah heard Jude's song 'Your 21' She tried to make a song a bit like it and this is what she came up with. Tommy knew when Jude heard it she wasn't going to like it so he wanted to persuade Sarah to change her lyrics. Besides, they sounded too immature anyway.

"The lyrics aren't working for me," He started bluntly..

**A/N - Told ya it wasn't too interesting..but, please review anyway? It will get more exciting..hopefully..:-\**


	4. Chapter 4 Meeting Sarah

**A/N - Hey you guys..I'm guessing the last chapter was as bad as I thought it was..only got one review..heh..I'm sorry :-\ well,if I don't get more than one this chapter I'm just going to have to delete the story because I don't want to write if no one is interested. Thank you for my one reviewer :) I'm glad you liked it. Okay well..on with the chapter I guess..**

**Disclamier - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 4 - Meeting Sarah**

"The lyrics aren't working for me," He started bluntly..

"Why not?" Sarah pouted.

"They are too childish," He motioned for her to come back into the studio. She rolled her eyes and pulled off the head phones. After coming through the door she took her earlier seat but this time didn't scoot close to Tommy.

"I like them," She said, looking over the lyrics.

"Eternal as the earth and the sun?" He mocked.

"Yeah? whats wrong with it?" He stared at her for a few seconds in disbelief and then finally let out a small chuckle.

"You really think they are good enough?" He asked, seriously. She looked them over once again and nodded.

Tommy sighed.

"Alright then.." He told her to go back into the recording booth and sing it again. This time he added the music. That was one down and like 13 to go. This record was going to take forever to make, well, it seemed like forever anyway.

"Hey, whats up?" Speid asked. This time he didn't seem as nervous as he did a month ago. He was actually pretty confident with his words, she could hear it.

"Not much, hows everything with the band?" She asked, trying to keep the attention and questions off of her and G-major. SME was no longer with G-major, they also were signed with another studio.

"Good I guess.." He started walking down the aisle, exploring the C.Ds. Jude followed.

"Something wrong?" She asked, concerned.

"Nope, everythings good," He picked up a C.D and started to read the back. Jude nodded to herself and stared at the ground. Speid noticed and his eyes started to roam her body.

"Jude, whats going on with you?" He asked. Jude looked up at him, confusedly.

"What?" Speid put the C.D down and grabbed the sleeve of her sweat shirt, pulling it up. Her arm lay limp against the fabric. She didn't like where he was going with this.

"You're tiny," He said, taking his other hand and lightly bringing her chin up so her face would face his own. He looked into her dull blue eyes and narrowed his own.

"You're so pale..have you been eating?" He asked, quietly. She pushed his hands away and allowed her sleeves to fall back over her hands.

"I'm fine," She said and started to walk in the opposite direction. He quickly caught up with her.

"Talk to me," He pleaded, trying to stop her.

"Theres nothing to talk about," She insisted, making her way out of the store.

Finally he grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him again. She looked away because tears started to dwell in her eyes. Why wouldn't he just let her be? She didn't need this.

"What is wrong?" He tried again to get her secrets out of her.

"Jude!" Sadie called from a few stores down. Jude looked over at her sister who was motioning for her to come over, her hands were filled with bags. She pulled herself from Speid's grasp and looked at him before turning to leave again. He watched her eyes glisten in the light for a few seconds and then watched her dissapear in the crowd of people.

Sadie immediately noticed Jude's sad expression.

"You okay?" She asked, giving a few of her bags to Jude.

"Yeah, um, we done here?" Jude asked, looking at all the bags.

"Yes we are. Now we are going to stop by and see Tommy at his new job," She practically squealed. Jude tensed at his name and nodded slowly.

"Alright."

"Try it again," Tommy instructed, pushing the button once more.

"Again? Tom I've sang this song like 10 times!" He aggravatedly pushed the button to stop recording and then turned the intercom back on.

"It is missing something. It is just not working," She sighed, annoyed.

"I don't know any other way to sing it, I've tried about every way possible," She complained. Tommy was just about to give up when he saw two blondes coming through the door. He mentally thanked god.

"Take a break," He called into the mic and then turned towards his girlfriend and his..well..friend.

"Hey Sadie..Jude," He smiled at the both of them and Sadie wrapped her arms around him. Jude slightly smiled at him and took a seat close to the door, just in case she needed to get out quickly.

Sarah watched the scene play in front of her and decided this was her chance to finally meet Sadie, and she was going to make the best of it. She smirked to herself. After walking out of the booth she spotted Jude sitting alone.

"Hello," Sarah said in a fake sweet tone.

"Hi," Jude said politely, not really wanting to talk to her.

Sadie turned to face the young girl and noticed how pretty she was. Jealousy automatically overcame her. Tommy noticed Sadie's face and decided now was the time to speak up.

"Sadie, Jude, this is Sarah, I'm her.. producer," He informed. Sadie developed a smile across her lips as fake as Sarah's.

"Hi, I'm Sadie, Tommy's girlfriend," She held out her hand. Sarah flipped her long blonde hair and then took it while glancing at Tommy.

"Lucky girl,"

"I know," She dropped her hand and faced Tommy again who was watching Jude gaze into space.

"Jude, you okay?" He asked, obviously concerned.

"Huh? oh yeah, I'm fine." She lied, she was actually trying to recover from his earlier words. He was Sarah's producer..that was hard for Jude to consume. She missed Tommy being her own producer. No matter what Kwest or Darius said, her lyrics and her music wasn't as good as it once was. Everyone knew that yet no one wanted to make things worse on her so, they didn't tell her the truth.

"Good because I was hoping you could help Sarah with her lyrics, they aren't too hot,"

Jude raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'm in the room you know!" Sarah said, defensively.

"I know," Tommy smirked.

"Um, I don't know Tommy..my lyrics aren't too hot either," Jude said, shallowly.

"I've heard some of your new stuff, I think its great," He replied, supportively.

She looked at him and smiled. He gave her a pleading look that she just couldn't turn down.

"Alright, let me see them," She said, standing up and walking towards Tommy. He gave her Sarah's papers and a pen.

Jude took them without making direct eye contact with Tommy and then motioned for Sarah to follow. They walked out into the lobby, leaving Sadie and Tommy alone.

"So Jude, I've heard alot about you," Sarah took a seat next to Jude on the lobby's couch.

"Really?" Jude asked, hope flooding her voice.

"Yeah Tommy talks about you all the time," She lied. Jude could barely hide her smile. Sarah smirked. There was a few moments of silence before Jude snapped out of her fantasies and realized she had to help this girl with her lyrics.

"So, whats wrong with these?" She asked, skimming through the lyrics. Sarah rolled her eyes.

"I don't know. Ask Mr. Perfectionalist in there," She pointed towards Tommy. Jude smiled remembering the old days. He usually loved her writing, he only disagreed some of the time. Jude turned to towards the room Tommy and Sadie were in and through the glass she seen Tommy and Sadie with angry expressions on their faces.

"She's cute Tom," Sadie said in between clenched teeth. Tommy sighed and shook his head slightly.

"Isn't she?" He asked, sarcastically. Sadie rolled her eyes and started towards the door.

"You are not seriously going to leave. This is my job Sadie," He said, pushing himself from his chair.

"Watch me," She spat and opened the door. She slammed it shut and then exited the studio without letting Jude process what had just happened, she didn't have time to catch up with her.

"Sadie!" She called a few minutes too late. Sadie was already in her car and about to start it.

"Well so much for my ride home," Jude said, leaning back into the couch again.

"I'll take you home, Jude.." Tommy said in an aggravated tone, leaning against the door frame.

"Oh, okay.." Jude said awkwardly...

**A/N - Please review you guys it means so much to me..**


	5. Chapter 5 I'm sorry

**A/N - Thank you for the reviews..heh..it was more than one so I'm happy. Well, I know where I want this story to go, so basically I know what I want to happen at the end BUT I have a few ideas for the next few chapters..they just came to mind so they are really unexpected I guess you could say? I don't know..hope you like this chapter?**

**Disclaimer - I do now own Instant Star**

**Chapter 5 - I'm sorry**

"I'll take you home, Jude.." Tommy said, leaning against the door frame.

"Oh, okay.." Jude said awkwardly.

Jude gave Sarah her cell phone number and told her to call her if she ever needed help with any of her songs. Sarah forced a smile and thanked her. This was it, the first time Tommy and Jude would be alone..they hadn't been alone during the whole pregnancy and Jude was a bit scared of how this was going to be.

She got up and followed Tommy out of the studio and to his car, she hung her head, avoiding his eyes.

Once both of them were in the car Tommy racked his mind, desperately trying to think of something to say. He could barely keep his eyes on the road, he was too busy sneaking glances at Jude who still had her head hung low and her hands inside of her sweatshirt. He noticed her baggy clothes and also how pale she was, she didn't seem the same. He had seen her before when he went to pick up Sadie and he would say hello to Jude but, he had never really looked at her until now. What happened to her?

"How have you been?" He decided to speak up. She looked up at him with a dull expression on her face. Her eyes were so dim, they didn't have the same sparkle he was use to seeing. The one he loved.

"Okay..how about you?" She asked, still looking at him. He snorted.

"Well you know how Sadie is,"

"Yeah.." She turned and looked out the window.

He didn't want to end the conversation like that. It wasn't going to work that way. He needed to become close to her again. After seeing her and being this close to her he couldn't just go back to the occasional 'hello' He needed her, he needed his best friend back. She needed him also, he could tell.

"How is everything at the studio?" She turned towards him and smiled slightly.

"Good I guess, Darius has been great,"

"Since when?" Tommy asked, surprised.

"Since.. you left," Her smile faded.

Okay well that ended that attempt of a conversation. Tommy nodded, knowing he couldn't say anything to make her forgive him. He still hadn't forgave himself. He still loved Jude more than anything and nothing was going to change that. Tommy didn't feel for Sadie but he couldn't leave her..he had a responsibility towards his kid.

Tommy pulled up to the Harrison house hold and spotted Sadie's car in the driveway. He winced at the thought of the later conversation they would have to have. He turned off the car and started playing with his keys, trying to pass time. Jude didn't move, it was almost like she couldn't. Tommy looked up at her and watched her sadness. God why did he always have to do this to her?

"Jude," Her eyes fluttered and started to cloud with unshed tears. She looked down at her hands.

"Yeah?" She asked, trying to hide the pain in her voice.

"I'm sorry I left," His words were full of sincerity. She looked up at him and smiled, allowing a silent tear to fall.

"Bye Tommy," After that being said, she got out of the car and made her way into the house, not looking back once. Once inside she ran into her room and closed the door behind her.

"Jude don't cry..don't cry!" She slid down against the door and held her face in her hands.

"Never cry for Tommy again, remember?" She scolded herself but still, it wasn't helping. She sat there for a few minutes trying to calm herself down. The tears just kept coming and she knew the only thing that would take her mind off of her problems, off of everything would be..

Jude whiped her tears away with the sleeve of her sweatshirt and then with her other hand, reached under the bed.

Tommy finally figured it was time to go in and face the music. He got out of his car and walked up the driveway slowly. Knocking on the door, he tried to remain calm. Rough footsteps were heard coming down the stairs and then the doorknob turned.

"What do you want Tom?" Sadie asked, holding the door cracked open.

"You walked out and our discussion was far from over," He said, pushing the door open calmly.

"I think it was over. Theres nothing to talk about," She closed the door and watched Tommy make his way to the couch and then sit.

"Look Sadie, I told you that when I got this job I would be producing girls. I mean come on, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out,"

"No, Tommy but when a girl looks like that a girlfriend can worry! especially since she totally has the hots for you," She screamed.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, seriously. Sadie gave him a look.

"Tommy this isn't about trust this-"

"Answer the question Sadie," He said, more intently this time.

Sadie looked around the room before her eyes settled on his.

"Of course I do," She said, a bit louder than a whisper.

"Then stop worrying about it," He said a little harhly.

Sadie's eyes began to water and she flung herself at Tommy.

"I'm sorry," She said into his neck. Tommy rubbed her back and shh'd her.

"It's okay..I'm here," He assured.

This went on only for a few minutes before Tommy's cell phone rang and he was called back to the studio and yelled at for leaving in the first place. He hugged Sadie goodbye and kissed her cheek before leaving. Sadie was now happy again and decided to go upstairs and tell Jude everything was okay between her and Tommy, no more fighting.

She walked happily up the steps and then down the hall, stopping in front of Jude's door and smiling.

"Jude?" She cheerfully called before opening the door.

"Jude!" Sadie's eyes widened at what she saw and her face shown pure horror.

**A/N - Review ya'll, please?**


	6. Chapter 6 Dirty little scars

**A/N - So..like I said I wasn't even thinking about taking this story in this direction but, I'm still sticking with my original idea..just sticking some twists and turns in here, hope you like? Thank you for the reviews and continue reviewing forme, k:)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 6 - Dirty little scars**

"Jude!" Sadie's eyes widened at what she saw and her face shown pure horror. Jude was sitting against the bed with her arm extended, a razor in hand. A newly made cut on her arm and scars from previous ones brought Sadie to her knees.

"Wh..why?" She could barely speak and what managed to come out was stuttered.

"I.." Jude looked down at her wrist and watched the blood drip down her arm and onto her pants. She dropped the razor, feeling lightheaded and dizzy. For a minute she sat watching the room spin as Sadie ran to the bathroom, grabbing a rag. When she returned Jude's eyes were closed.

"Jude?..Jude!" Sadie screamed. Jude opened her eyes barely and moved her head up a bit, immediately regretting it.

"Ow," Her head fell backwards again and Sadie knelt down beside her.

"Stay still," She wrapped the washcloth around Jude's wrist and watched the blood seep into the cloth.

Jude clenched her eyes shut from the pressure Sadie was putting on the cut.

"Sadie, it's fine," She managed to say, trying to pull her arm from her sister.

"Don't even think about it," She refused to let go of her wrist.

"Jude, how could you be so stupid?"

Jude rolled her eyes. She wasn't crying anymore, she had actually stopped before Sadie even came into the room. Cutting seemed like the only way to release her pain. A few months ago she would have never thought that she would be the one to do it. She had always said it was stupid and there was no reason for it but, now that she started it seemed as though it was her ecstasy. It was her lullaby. She needed it. It was the only thing she could depend on, the only thing that could make her happy.

"Huh, Jude? Why would you do this?" Sadie asked once again, getting more angry by the minute. This time Jude managed to pull her arm away.

"I don't have to explain anything to you, I have my reasons,"

"Like what? what could be so horrible that would make you result to this? ..hurting yourself,"

Jude tied the rag around her thin wrist and got up, uneasily. She was still dizzy but she caught the wall before falling. Sadie shook her head.

"You need help," She spat.

Jude didn't say anything, only closed her eyes hoping the room would stop spinning. Sadie got up and started out the room.

"I'm telling mom," This was the last of the conversation between the two. Jude closed her door and once again leaned against it, trying to regain her strength. Every time she cut, this seemed to happen. It would have been fine if Sadie wouldn't have come in. She would have just sat and let the feeling pass but it was too late now. After realizing it wasn't going to get any better she collapsed on the bed and almost immediately drifted off into a deep sleep.

"Mom, I need to talk to you," Sadie said, greeting Victoria at the door who was followed by Don.

"Sadie, I'm busy right now, can this wait till later?"

"No..it can't,"

Victoria excused herself from Don and walked with Sadie into the kitchen.

"What is it?"

Sadie had lost her earlier courage but she had to tell her mom. Jude did need help and she didn't think she could get her it on her own.

"It's about Jude.."

"What about her?"

"I walked in on her and she..was..um,"

"She was what?"

"She was-"

"Vicky the office called, we have to go!" Don's voice echoed the living room.

"Look hun, you'll have to tell me later, okay?" Victoria kissed Sadie on the forehead and then walked out of the kitchen before her daughter could object.

"Later might be too late.." Sadie's words lingered openly in the empty kitchen. She pulled her hands to her face and rubbed it, tenderly. As if trying to release stress. Within a few moments of this, there was a knock on the door which caused Sadie to jump. She walked slowly to the door and widened her eyes when she seen who was standing outside. She cracked the door open, as she did earlier.

"What are you doing here!"

The person stood outside of the door eyeing Sadie and searching for the words he wanted to say.

"Sadie.."

"Look, you can't be here," She hesitantly closed the door. He didn't leave, only stood there in awe.

After closing the door Sadie leaned up against the back of it. If people were to see the two together..they might suspect something and she really didn't need that. Especially since her and Tommy were getting into stupid fights all the time, this would just add wood to the fire. And after that night..she would never be able to look at Kwest the same way again.

Jude opened her eyes to find herself in her room, she must have slept all day because everything was dark. Her wrist was pulsing like crazy and when she tried to peel the cloth off, it stung and stuck to her wound. She managed to turn on a lamp and sit up in the bed. Where she had fallen asleep earlier there were blood stains on the sheet mocking her and intimidating her. She then remembered her earlier confrontation with Sadie.

"Mmm," She groaned, pushing herself up with her good hand.

Everything was so quiet. It wasn't unusual though.. her mom was usually out with Don and Sadie was usually out with Tommy..but tonight..there was an awkward silence.

Jude, after applying another rag over the one she already had on her wrist and pushing the sleeves of her sweat shirt down, opened her door and walked down the dark hallway. When she reached the top of the staircase she saw the lights flicker on and off and then turn completely off. She heard faint whispering. A huge flash of lightning illuminated the darkness and Jude started down the stairs, clinging to the railing.

"Mom?" She called out.

"In here Jude." Her mother's voice was deep and emotionless, coming from the kitchen. Jude followed Victoria's voice and when she stepped into the kitchen she made out four figures sitting at the kitchen counter.

"Whats going on?" She asked, starting to panic from the lightning and thunder going on outside. Don was looking at her as if she had gone mad. Jude quickly averted her eyes back to the storm and watched the rain start to pour down harder and harder.

"Jude, let me see your arm." Victoria pushed her chair aside and started towards her daughter.

"Mom, no." Jude started to back up, but was stopped by the wall. Victoria pulled at Jude's sleeves and her fingers brushed over the scabs.

"Jude.." Her voice was very airy but her words were filled with concern.

"Just don't, okay?" Her voice cracked and she pulled her arm from her mother. Victoria's eyes glazed over with tears.

"We've got you help, okay honey?" Victoria said, calmly.

"What?" Jude's eyes also started to glaze and she turned to the person sitting at the counter who she didn't recognize, she could only tell it was a guy.

Don decided it was his turn to take over since Victoria was in no condition to go through this. He got up and put his arm around his wife, with the other he motioned for the man to follow him.

"Look Jude, we think it would be best if you spent some time with Dr. Schmidt." Don's free hand pushed Dr. Schmidt closer to Jude so they could see each other better.

"A shrink? I'm not crazy, I don't need a doctor!" She felt betrayed, did they really think she was crazy?

"Honey we know you're not crazy..we just think he could help," A single tear escaped her mother's eye as she tried to convince her daughter.

Jude gasped, not believing what was going on before her. She looked to Sadie as her last resort for help.

"Sadie?" Sadie hung her head and eyed the counter, trying to keep her mind off of her sister and her pleading voice.

Doctor Schmidt then started to walk closer to Jude and he grabbed her arm, about to examine it when Jude pushed him away from her.

"Get away from me!" She screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

The man attempted to touch her again, but Jude ran towards the living room door and before anyone even noticed they seen lightning flash across the living room and then heard the door slam. Jude was seen running down the pavement of her driveway, into the street.

**A/N - Sooo? was it horrible? review ya'll, please? **


	7. Chapter 7 Darkness

**A/N - Two chapters in 1 night..heh..hope ya'll like it? I've actually started a new story..haven't posted it yet but I don't know..it just gets my attention more. I'm not too happy with this one..but..keep reviewing please? and thanks for all the reviews so far! yall are still awesome**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 7 - Darkness**

Jude was seen running down the pavement of her driveway and into the street. The storm had no effect on her, not now. She didn't care, only kept running. She found herself out of breath after a while because of her crying and running so she slowed down and started to walk down the empty street. It seemed like she was the only one in the world at the moment, the road was abandoned and she could barely see anything in around her. She spotted G-major and jogged to the door and fortunately it wasn't locked. She didn't see any cars parked outside so she let herself in and was hoping for privacy. The studio was dark and she was content with the quietness.

Almost immediately she hugged her arms to her chest. It was freezing. She made her way into one of the empty studios and picked up an acoustic guitar, bringing it to the lobby with her.

She started to strum the guitar quietly and sing softly, still allowing the tears to stream down her cheeks.

_"Hold me close, don't let me fall_

_You and I were never meant at all.._

_Take my hand just one last time_

_Tell me you need me in your life.." _

She stopped playing for a second to wipe her eyes because her vision was getting blurry from her tears. No matter how many times she wiped them away, they kept coming back. She gave up and started the song again, this time she strummed the strings in a rougher way.

_"Left alone, these tears I cry_

_Precious memories of you and I_

_I may be weak, I may be scarred_

_Your name's engraved in my heart,"_

Jude continued to sing the song off of the top of her head but it remained flawless and full of emotion. A certain guy stood in the dark listening to her song. He stayed as quiet as possible and watched her pour her emotions out in her tears.

_"Wishing for you is my biggest regret, _

_Never make a wish that you can't get_

_All along I've waited for this day_

_When I could look you straight in the eye and say.._

_Left alone these tears I cry.._

_Sacred pictures of you and I.._

_I may be weak, I may be scarred,_

_Here I die with a broken heart.."_

Jude dropped her guitar and sobbed into her hands. She was soaked to the bone and Kwest could see her shivering.

"Jude?" He walked towards her with his coat in hand. Jude's head shot up.

"Kwest?" Her voice was almost completely gone, it only came out in squeaks.

"Here, take that thing off you're going to catch cold. Put this on." He handed her his jacket. She took it gratefully and took her own off, forgetting about her arms. Kwest watched and he grabbed her arm once her jacket was off.

"What is this?" He asked, he could only see the white rag around her wrist because of the darkness. His hand began to peel at the cloth.

"Oww, Kwest!" She pulled her arm away and his eyes dimmed.

"Why did you do that?" He asked, his tone dropped low.

Jude sniffed and looked away from Kwest but he grabbed her face and forced her towards him again.

"I don't know..it's everything." She explained, in between sobs.

"Everything being?" He asked, still not seeing the problem.

"My mom, Don, Sadie..Tommy." She looked at him and he nodded in understandment.

"Tom, huh?" He asked, finally getting it.

Jude pulled her face down, along with his hand. He finally let go of her cheek and put his arm around her shoulder, trying to warm her.

"I didn't know anyone was here..I thought the place was empty." She said.

Kwest smiled.

"I parked around back..I left your place earlier and I've been here ever since,"

Jude looked up at him, confused.

"My place?"

Kwest nodded.

"I didn't know you were there..I must have been asleep.. heh, when I woke up everyone was against me." She said, her sight becoming blurry again.

"Against you?"

Jude sighed and then sniffed again.

"They think I'm crazy.." She informed. Kwest gave her a weird look and tried to hold back his smile.

"I'm serious. They got me a shrink."

"Oh boy.." He rubbed her arm, trying to comfort her and his smile faded quickly, realizing the seriousness of the situation.

"I know," She wiped her eyes again.

"Jude no one in the world is worth you. Never hurt yourself over anyone," Jude looked up at Kwest and could tell he was Sincere with his words. She smiled.

"I don't want people worried about me but..the whole Sadie being pregnant thing still gets to me,"

Kwest nodded.

"I know, me too."

Jude gave him a look so he started to explain. After he explained everything that happened between him and Sadie, Jude sat in awe.

"You.."

"Yeah," He said.

"She.."

"Yep." He said once again.

"You two.."

"Yes Jude, we slept together. Not too long before Sadie's 'pregnancy'"

Jude's jaw dropped.

"I know," He stated.

"So you could be.." She started.

"The father." He finished her sentence. The lightning striked again and the rain fell down even harder. There was no way neither of the two were leaving G-major tonight. They fell asleep next to each other, and their now-revealed-secrets lingered the studio.

**A/N - It looks short to me..heh..Review you guys:) and thanks again!**


	8. Chapter 8 Babyshower blow out

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews ya'll! You guys are great! Here is the next chapter..hope you like? I think its kind of short.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 8 - Baby shower blow out**

The next day when Kwest and Jude woke up, Jude promised Kwest she wouldn't say anything and he wished her the best of luck, also promising not to say anything about her secret. She hugged him before leaving the studio and then checked all of her missed calls. Surprisingly, there wasn't that many. Only a few from her mom and a few from her dad. None from Tommy and None from Sadie.

Jude walked down the road she had walked the night before, dreading going home. Finally she reached her house and took a deep breath before stepping inside. The house was quiet. Everyone must have been still asleep. Jude looked down at her cell phone, reading the time. It was only 6 o'clock. No wonder. She walked up to her room, quietly, and then unwrapped the cloth from her wrist, carefully. It hurt so she bit her lip, holding in her groans of pain. Once it was finally off she went into the bathroom and washed the cut. It was still bleeding because of how deep she went but it wasn't as bad as the previous day. After she cleaned her arm she applied medacine on the cut and wrapped it with a bandage. She was disgusted with herself and was hopefully never going to be pushed to the limit again. After all of this was done she went back to her room and collapsed on the bed, drifting off into a comfortable slumber.

"Jude!" Victoria's voice pierced through Jude's ears. She opened her eyes, wearily and felt arms cradling her.

"Yeah mom?" She asked, sleepily.

"You're okay," She sobbed, continuing to cradle her daughter, and Jude allowed her mother to do so. After a few minutes of this Jude decided to speak up and pull from Victoria.

"I'm sorry. I don't want you to worry about me," She said, truthfully. Victoria smiled weakly and ran her hand through Jude's messy hair.

"Your my daughter..it's my job to worry." She admitted.

Jude smiled slightly and looked down at her still-bloody sheet. Her smile soon faded. Victoria followed Jude's eyes to the sheet and her eyes darkened. Jude rubbed the bandage, tenderly.

"Look..I-" She started.

Victoria shook her head and put her hand on top of Jude's.

"I love you, honey." She said, tears dwelling in her eyes.

"I love you too mom.."

Victoria pulled Jude back into an embrace and the two sat in her room most of the day, crying, talking and going over all the things that they needed to say. Jude convinced Victoria that she didn't need a shrink and that she was perfectly capable of getting better on her own. Victoria questoned her about her eating, sleeping, and everything else she had been worried about and Jude explained she hadn't been eating right and that she would try to do better. They made an agreement that if she started to do better on her own in the next couple of months then she wouldn't have to go see any kind of doctor, but if she got worse then she would have to be hospitalized. Victoria also agreed to keep everything a secret between her and her daughter. No one was going to find out what had went on or what Jude was going through.

-7 months into Sadie's pregnancy-

Sadie walked inside her house, with Jude at her side. After opening the door Sadie immediately spotted the banner hanging across the ceiling. It read 'Congratulations Sadie!' and quite a few girls that were Sadie's age came from the living room, holding packages and cards in hand.

"Hey Sadie!" Alot of them greeted, taking her in a snug embrace. Jude sighed and walked away from all the comotion. She found her mother in the kitchen, smiling.

"Hey mom," Jude greeted.

"Hey Jude, why are you in here?"

Jude pointed towards the living room.

"They are blonde, preppy, and pink..it's like a Sadie convention,"

Victoria chuckled.

"I'm sure your sister wants you in there, it is her baby shower and your the one who planned it for her, after all."

Jude rolled her eyes, regretting it.

"Yeah..I suppose," She walked back into the living room and then sat on the couch, away from the squealing girls. Jude didn't even recognize any of them. When she said it was like a Sadie convention, she wasn't over exaggerating. Almost every girl in there was blonde and was atleast wearing a touch of pink.

She couldn't help but laugh at the silly conversations she overheard around her. Some of the girls were asking the stupidest questions like- "How horrible is it to wear a mini skirt while pregnant?" or, "Do you feel fat?" And then there was her favorite, "Are you going to name the little one 'Little Tommy Q?"

Jude cracked up. A few of the girls eyed her and gave her weird looks. Seriously, Jude could care less.

Finally Sadie decided it was time to talk to her sister.

"Hey." She greeted, taking a seat next to Jude.

"Hey,"

"You plan all of this?" Sadie asked.

Jude shrugged and Sadie smiled.

"Thanks.." She hugged her sister which caused a few whispers from the other blondes. One of them came up to the two.

"Sadie! what are you doing?" She asked, her hands on her hips and a look of pure disgust on her face. Sadie let go of Jude and gave the girl a questioning look.

"Isn't that the cutter?" The girl asked a few of the other girls that were surrounding them. Sadie's jaw dropped and Jude glared at her.

"Who..how.." Sadie started.

The accusing blonde pulled Sadie from the couch as if Jude were diseased or something. Sadie pulled her arm away from the girl and sent Jude an apologetic look. Jude brushed her look off and shot up from the couch and made her way through the muttering bunch. When she reached the door she turned around once and looked at Sadie.

"Wouldn't want to embarrass you or anything." And with that she left. Sadie pushed the girl away and ran after Jude but she was already gone. Jude walked angrily down the road, as she did so many times before when a blue viper pulled up beside her.

"Jude?" He called out, his car idling down thw road as she walked.

"Not now, Tommy." She spat, walking a little faster.

He quickly caught up with her.

"Aren't you suppose to be at the babyshower?" He asked, stupidly.

She shot a death glare at him.

"Okay.." Tommy pulled over and parked the car. He then got out and grabbed Jude's arm.

"Whats going on?"

She tried to pull her arm away but he had a strong grip on her. She finally gave up and looked up into his concerned eyes.

"I just wanted her to have a nice party." She said, sadly. He nodded..still not understanding why she was walking down the street.

"Why'd you leave?"

She shook her head, remembering he didn't know about her incidents.

"Not my scene, I guess.." She lied. It worked. He laughed.

"Why do you think I'm not there?" He asked. She gave him a look.

"You're a guy. You're not suppose to be there anyway," She said, obviously annoyed.

He shrugged.

"Well, you want to go get something to eat or somethin'?" He asked, gesturing towards his car. Jude looked at his car and smiled. She always felt so comfortable and safe in his car. Or better yet, with him.

"Yeah.." She said, smiling.

He smiled back and the two stepped into the car.

**A/N - Thanks again you guys:) review!**


	9. Chapter 9 Cutter

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews you guys-ILU! hehe..well..I don't know..this story is getting harder and harder to write..hope its still fairly good? heres chapter 9-**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 9 - Cutter**

The two settled on a nice little food place that had outside and inside tables. They chose to sit outside, near the road. They sat down and Tommy picked up his menu.

"Get whatever you want." He said, pointing towards her menu. She smiled and looked it over, trying to find the cheapest thing on the list.

The waitress finally came over and as soon as she spotted Tommy and Jude sitting together, she had a fit.

"Oh my god!" She squealed, drawing Tommy and Jude's attention.

"Little Tommy Q and Jude harrison? together at last?" She continued.

Jude gave Tommy an apologetic look and before either of the two could speak up, the waitress continued.

"You guys are so cute together!"

Jude's eyes fell on the table. She was trying her best to hide her smile and her pink cheeks from Tommy. He watched her and couldn't help but smile himself. The waitress stood there watching for a moment, happily, and then remembered her job.

"Well anyway, what can I get you guys to drink?" She asked.

Tommy looked over at Jude once again.

"Two iced teas?" He asked and Jude nodded in reassurance.

The waitress nodded, scribbling the order down and then walked away.

Tommy started to laugh.

"Well..that was.." He started.

"Embarrassing?" She offered. He smiled.

"Hardly."

Jude smiled at his sweetness and then quickly changed the subject.

"So, got a name for your kid yet?" She asked.

Tommy winced at the words 'his' and 'kid'...the two just didn't fit in the same sentence, at least not yet anyway. He almost said outloud that there was no kid yet but he decided it would be better if he didn't.

"Nope." He said, lightly. Jude nodded and then smirked.

"I overheard a few girls at the babyshower giving Sadie baby name advice," She started. He raised an eyebrow, wondering where she was going with this.

"One of them mentioned a name that I think Sadie liked alot..." She continued. Tommy pushed his face forward a bit, gesturing for her to continue.

"Little Tommy Q Jr." She said, and then began laughing hysterically as his facial expressions changed. Tommy placed his face in his hands and rubbed his forehead with his index fingers. Jude watched and continued to laugh.

"Not gonna' happen." He said, shaking his head. She finally calmed down and started breathing normal again.

"Tell Sadie that," Jude said, smiling.

"Oh I will." He stated, bringing his hands back to the table.

The waitress finally came back with their drinks and then took their food order.

Meanwhile -

"Sadie! what was that about?" Victoria walked after Sadie who was still staring down the road, sadly. Sadie looked up, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Shes gone.."

Victoria looked out beyond their yard and realization washed over her.

"What happen?" She asked, pulling Sadie close to her.

"Tiffany called Jude a cutter..how she knew,I have no idea," She spoke, sadly.

Victoria brushed Sadie's arm with her fingers, lightly. The two stood there for a moment trying to figure out what to do about this but neither had any idea. After a few minutes passed Victoria pulled Sadie towards the door.

"We can't leave everyone in there alone so..get in there and have your party, I'll go look for Jude." The two walked inside and Sadie, sadly, joined the girls again. Victoria walked into the kitchen and grabbed her car keys quickly before walking back out and starting her search for Jude.

Meanwhile-

Jude and Tommy talked about everything there was possible to talk about. How when they met they were destined to hate each other..how close they had become. How Shay was an idiot. How rediculous Tommy looked in a bandana. Anything and everything.

Jude giggled and Tommy took a sip of his second glasss of iced tea.

"We're never going to be able to do this anymore.." Jude said, pulling at the seems of the cheap table cloth that covered their table.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, confused.

She stopped messing with the table cloth and sighed.

"This Tommy. We'll never be able to hang out anymore..we'll never be us again." It pained her to say the last few words but it was the truth. Someone had to bring reality back into the situation.

Tommy watched her intently. Her hair danced in the wind and her eyes glittered as the sunlight hit them at the perfect angle. He had never seen something..someone as beautiful. Everything he had ever wanted..everything he had ever needed flashed before his eyes. There were only a few things he had wanted or needed for that matter. Music, His close friends, and Jude. Those were his top priorites in life. If everything else was taken away and he was left with the three, he'd be content.

"Jude.." He started, watching her eyes dim. She thought he was going to lecture her or say she was stupid for even saying that.

"There will always be us," He promised, taking her hands in his own. Looking down at his hands, she started to shake her head, slightly.

"No Tommy.." She pulled her hands from his.

"Theres you and Sadie..and then theres us." She said, bitterly.

Tommy attempted to say something but she hushed him.

"Don't worry about it." She said, forcing a smile.

He stared at her for only a moment before the waitress came back over and took their plates and then left them alone again.

Tommy, once again, couldn't take his eyes off of her. He watched the sadness glisten in her crystal blue orbs and it was breaking his heart. He never meant for any of this to happen. Even if it was selfish to think, he would take back every minute he had with Sadie just so he could give all of his time, his heart to Jude. She was now 18, had been for a few months. He could finally have her and then again he couldn't. This was definitely not the way he had planned his future.

Jude was staring at him as well, processing everything that had occured that day.

Tommy grabbed Jude's hands again but this time she didn't pull them away. She looked down at their hands and then back up at him, not knowing what he was doing. Before she knew it his lips were pressed against hers and all of her emotions started to pour. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, tears flowing swiftly down her cheeks.

"Jude!" Victoria called from the street, parking her car. Neither Tommy or Jude heard her mother and continued to show their built up feelings for eachother.

**A/N - Review you guys, its the only thing that is keeping me writing to this story...my only inspiration anyway now that Instant star is off the air..so...I'll be here waiting for ya'lls nice (hopefully) reviews. :)**


	10. Chapter 10 Betrayal

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews ya'll! Now, I've had a small pesky case of writers block..it sucks! But I hope you like this chapter anyway, Its kinda short..so..yeah..keep reviewing you guys:)**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star**

**Chapter 10 - Betrayal**

"Jude!" Victoria tried again. This time Tommy heard her calling and opened his eyes, fear immediately taking over him. Jude did the same. She pulled away and quickly wiped her cheeks.

Victoria got out of her car and started towards the two.

Jude started to panic and looked at Tommy for help, but he also didn't know what to do.

"Tom, get away from her." Victoria said, in her calmest voice. Jude shook her head, slightly. Tommy did as instructed.

"Miss Harrison please-"

"Jude, get in the car." Her mother cut him off and pointed towards her vehicle. Jude backed away from the table and from Victoria.

"Jude. You heard me, get in the car!" She said once again, this time more intently.

"No mom," She pleaded. Victoria grabbed her arm, accidently pulling her sleeve up. Tommy watched this go on before him, his mouth agape.

"Jude.." Victoria's tone softened.

There were freshly made marks on her arm and there was a new bandage wrapped over one of them, blood seeping through. Jude jerked her arm but Victoria had a firm grip on her.

Tommy couldn't say anything, he just kept staring. She was hurting herself? Why would she do something like that? Why didn't he know about it?

"Honey..you said you stopped." Victoria said, brushing her fingers over her daughter's scars.

Jude started to break down again.

"Its not that easy," She managed to get out inbetween tears. Victoria pulled Jude close to her and guided her to the car. Tommy watched the two drive away and he wanted Jude to look back at him so he could tell what she was feeling, so he could show her he cared. She never looked back.

The drive started out silent..Victoria drove with her eyes fixed on the road and Jude cried silently into her hands. Everything was messed up again. They were back at square one and this time she had betray her sister. Victoria finally built up enough courage to look over at her daughter. When she did her heart broke..she could finally see how horrible things actually were. Jude was so thin..her wrists looked like they were nothing but bone. How come she hadn't been able to tell in the last few months? She seemed to be getting better..looking better. Victoria's eyes fell on Jude's cheeks. They were sunken in.

"Jude?" She asked, shakily.

Jude looked up with her red puffy eyes. She didn't even look the same. Everything about her was different.

"I'm going to take you to the doctor," She continued. Jude shook her head.

"Mom, please, no."

It was killing victoria..the pain and need in Jude's voice, but she didn't know what else to do for her. Nothing seemed to work and she couldn't trust Jude's judgment anymore.

"I'm so sorry honey.." A single tear escaped Victoria's eye before she pulled into the hospital's parking lot.

-Meanwhile

Sadie forced a smile as she walked around the living room with the other girls. She had opened most of her presents already. Getting everything from clothes to cradles, she wouldn't have to go baby shopping for a while.

She heard a knock on the door so she excused herself for a minute to answer it. Looking through the window, a smile crept on her face. Sadie opened the door.

"Hey-"

"Why didn't you tell me Sadie?" He cut her off.

"Tell you what?" She asked, letting Tommy make his way into the house.

"You know exactly what,"

Sadie eyed him for a minute, trying to figure out what he was talking about. Everyone from the living room was watching the two and some were whispering things about Tommy and how cute he was in person.

"Tommy, what are you talking about?" She asked, still not getting it.

Tommy looked over at everyone and realized why Jude left. They were all gaping like they had never seen a guy before. He smiled politely at them and then pulled Sadie outside and let the door close behind them.

"What Tommy?"

"Why didn't you tell me Jude was hurting herself?" He asked, concern dripping from his words. She stared at him for a moment in disbelief. Jude told him?

"How did you-"

"Victoria came to get her and..I just seen it, okay?" Guilt started to flow through his words.

Sadie's eyes fell to the ground and she grabbed his hands. She rubbed his in her own and tried to keep the tears from falling.

"She said she had stopped..I thought she did," She said, weakly. Tommy watched Sadie struggle to find the words to say.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, still trying to get down to the bottom of this.

"She didn't want the world to know, Tommy." She said, looking up at him.

He looked hurt from that comment. Didn't want the world to know? It was him..she could tell him anything.

"Sadie-I gotta' go." He said, pulling away from her. She said nothing, she knew where he was about to go. It was hopeless to think that Tom would ever be over Jude..of course he cared, she could understand that, but it was a different care. The kind of care that she, herself, longed for. She only wished he felt the same for her.

Watching Tommy walk to his car, Sadie stood thinking. Her eyes began to water but tears dared not to fall. He got into the car and Sadie watched the love of her life drive away. He was going to her.

Sadie walked back into the house, sadly.

"Babyshowers over." She said, walking up to her room.

**A/N - See? Kinda short..but..what did you think? I would've written a little more but..I'm about to go shrimping! hehe..yeah I know I'm weird lol. So, Good or No?**

**Review:)**


	11. Chapter 11 I'm 18

**A/N - Hey you guys sorry it took so long for me to update, I was working on my one-shot for a few days..its posted now if you want to check it out its called "Why should I care?" Some of you already have and thank you so much for the reviews for it! Ya'll are awesome! But anywho..I hope you like this chapter, I don't think its the greatest but I guess it'll do. It'll have to lol. Keep reviewing you guys and once again thanks for the reviews so far!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star**

**Chapter 11 - I'm 18**

Jude eyed her cell phone. Every 2 minutes it went off but her mom wouldn't allow her to answer it. A few minutes

passed and it rang again, Tommy's face lighting the screen. Jude looked over at Victoria who shook her head in response. Jude closed the phone.

"You can't treat me like this. I am 18 years old. I'm not a child!" She couldn't take it any longer, she had to have some sort of an outburst.

"I don't care how old you are. You are my daughter and you are unhealthy, that is what I care about," Victoria's eyes peirced at Jude's. The phone started ringing again.

"Why is he calling you anyway? Shouldn't he be calling Sadie?" She asked, taking the phone from Jude.

Jude shrugged. The door finally opened and Doctor Schmidt stepped out of his office.

"Hello Ms. Harrison," He greeted, smiling at the mother and daughter.

"Dr. Schmidt." She nodded.

Jude rolled her eyes. She did not like this guy.

"Hello Jude." He said, walking toward her

Jude eyed him carefully. He reached out his hand for her to shake.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot, I'm Dr. Schmidt-or Dr.S, whatever seems easier for you." Now he was acting as if she were a little girl. She glared.

"Right," It was the only thing she could manage to say without too much anger in her voice.

Victoria cleared her throat, trying to make Jude straighten up but Jude just smiled. If everyone was going to treat her like a little kid, Hell, she was going to be just as stubborn as one.

"Shall we?" He asked, motioning toward his office.

"Sure." She said, walking in with a funny grin on her face. Victoria sat back down in her previous chair and watched the doctor walk in with Jude. She hoped everything would go okay.

-Inside office

Jude sat down in front of his desk and looked around the room. There were pictures hanging on the wall of children, teenagers, people..people who looked like zombies. They were pale and thin-almost like..

"So, Jude," He started, trying to get her attention off the pictures. She looked at him and sighed.

"Yeah?"

He started to examine her frail body. She felt his eyes burning her.

"Would you mind taking off your jacket?" He asked..unsure of how his words would affect her.

She looked at him skeptically.

"No, I'm okay." She said, hugging the jacket close to her. He nodded, realizing how hard she was going to make this.

"We're only trying to help you, Jude." He assured, entwining his hands and placing them on the desk. She scoffed.

"Well maybe everyone should stop trying to help," She said, coldly. He nodded. It wasn't unusual for people in need of help to act this way. He wasn't surprised at all.

"How are things at home?" He asked, trying to break the ice. Jude laughed.

"Look doc, I don't need a shrink, okay? I don't want to tell you my life story and then you ask me 'how I feel' about that. You want to know how I feel? Go buy one of my Cd's..go listen to one of my songs. Hell, just read a few of my lyrics." She said, getting up.

He smiled.

"I'm actually a pretty big fan of yours," He said.

She laughed slightly.

"Really? then you should know how I feel." And with that she started toward the door.

"Jude?" He called before she could open the door. She turned around, a bit annoyed.

"Hmm?"

He got up and walked over to her. He then placed his card inside of her jacket pocket.

"Just consider it, okay?" He opened the door and let her out. Victoria stood as the two walked out, Jude continued to walk down the hallway and left the doctor with her mother. Victoria sighed.

"That wasn't very long." She said, watching Jude exit the building.

"I don't think she needs me," He said, bluntly. Victoria looked up at him.

"I think she does," She stated.

He shook his head slightly and reached into his pocket, pulling out another card.

"I think she needs to go to the hospital. She isn't eating right, you can tell. I usually refer all my patients to a doctor to make sure they are okay. Jude doesn't look like shes in too good of shape," He said, handing her the card. It had a name on it.

"You could tell all that in the few minutes she was in there?" Victoria asked, reading the card.

"Look at her Ms. Harrison," He said as if she were stupid. She nodded.

"Toronto Memorial. Ask for doctor Hepling."**(A/N - Not sure if there is a hospital called that but..lets just pretend, okay?)** He said, pointing toward the card.

"Even if I take her to the hospital, that won't stop her from cutting." Victoria said, sadly.

"True." Schmidt agreed.

"But, right now..her health needs to be taken care of," He continued.

Victoria breathed in heavily and then thanked him and then also left. When she reached her car she spotted Jude sitting in the passengers seat, thankfully.

-Meanwhile

Tommy drove back to the studio and rushed into the building. He didn't want to be there today of all days but he still had a job to do, he had to work with Natalie. After barging into the studio he walked into the first recording booth to find Natalie playing around with a keyboard. She didn't look up when she heard the door close.

"You're late," She said, simply.

He nodded and took a seat in front of the mix board. Taking a minute to clear his mind, he stared into the empty room before him. The mic hung in mid air, waiting for someone to take it and make beautiful music. Images of Jude danced throughout his head. As he looked into the sound booth, he could've sworn he saw her smiling back at him. He missed her smile.

"You okay?" Natalie pushed Tommy's shoulder, trying to bring him out of his gaze. She was successful in doing so.

"Huh? yeah..I'll be right back." He got up and pulled out his cell phone, once again dialing her number. He needed to know if she was okay after today. Things were crazy and he didn't want her to be the one blamed for what happened earlier. He was the one who kissed her. It wasn't her fault.

Meanwhile-

"Jude, he is calling again!" Victoria screamed, trying to keep her eyes on the road.

Jude looked out the window, helplessly. Why? why her?

"Just turn it off.." Jude muttered, lightly.

"What is this you two have anyway? Whatever it is, its not going to keep on." Victoria stated, pushing the power button and throwing her phone in the backseat.

"Nothing.." Jude said, tears falling down her cold cheeks once again.

"We have nothing.." Victoria watched Jude and shook her head slightly, knowing the love triangle was never going to end.

**A/N - So? Horrible? hides heh..please review? and thanks again :)**


	12. Chapter 12 Party girl

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews ya'll! My story should be ending soon..I'm thinking about writing a sequal because of how this story is..I mean, it would make more sense that it would have to write one to "To not be okay" Because after thinking about it I realized..not sequal material..so, If ya'll want a sequal give me a hollar and tell me, k? Its up to you guys. Love ya'll and continue reviewing!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 12 - Party girl**

Tommy finally gave up and walked back into the room with Natalie who was still messing around with the keyboard.

"Sorry about that," Tommy said, settling back into his seat. She shrugged and continued to play random keys. She was very good with keyboards, pianos, stuff such as that. A guitar? She didn't know one string from the other. Tommy tried to give her lessons a few times but failed miserably.

"I like it," He said after a while of listening. She smiled and pulled away from it.

"Yeah?" Her bangs fell over her eyes.

"Yeah..it have a name?"

She shook her head and sighed.

"Nope..most of them don't." She complained, this time messing with her shoelaces. Tommy watched and smiled, everytime he was with her he felt comfortable. She had that kind of vibe. She was kind of a loner and when she was with people she didn't take anyones crap. Though, she was still a sweet person.

"Well, lets see if we can figure out a name then..play a verse." He instructed. She did as she was told and positioned herself back infront of the keyboard and began playing and singing.

_"as I lay dying drentched in misery, _

_my blood _

_the thought of defeat haunts me_

_i lost my soul through the battle_

_i was blinded by my conciounce_

_therefore i can not see what is before me_

_as i lay dieing i think about my past _

_I will never have a future youve taken it away_

_In my life ive caused so much pain_

_youve taken the guilt away_

_I feel no more shame_

_as i lay dieing."_

She stopped and her fingers stayed on the last keys they touched. Tommy sat, amazed.

"Its good, but so depressing," He said, grabbing a guitar and starting to mimick her earlier chords.

"I like writing depressing stuff..it gets my mind off of things. It lets me get everything out," She said, shrugging her shoulders.

"What about.. My defeat?" He asked, still playing around with chords. She smiled and nodded.

"Good." He then layed the guitar back in its original spot and checked his cell phone for missed calls. Of course, there were none.

"Waiting for someone?" She asked, feeling a bit awkward.

"Kind of.." He said, trying not to give away too much emotion.

Meanwhile-

"Jude, come on. You are going in." Victoria screamed, locking her car.

"I am not going in there mom." She replied, refusing to leave the car.

"Jude, act your age!"

"If you'd treat me like an adult, I'd act like one!"

"If you'd stop making stupid decisions, maybe I would treat you differently!"

"Whats that suppose to mean?"

"You are hurting yourself, you are not eating right, you barely ever sleep..and when you do sleep its for days at a time, your grades are C's and under. You need to hear more, Jude?"

About this time Jude had stepped out of the car and was face to face with her mother. She had been okay until now, now her mother had gotten personal. She felt like she was a disappointment to everyone. She really didn't want to be..she couldn't help it and it was killing her to hear this from her mom. The one who had been the most understanding through it all.

"Sorry I'm such a disappointment." Jude turned her head from her mother and allowed the tears to flow again. Victoria reached out and attempted to grab Jude but Jude jerked away.

"Just forget it," She said, walking out of Victoria's view.

"Jude...Jude!" It was hopeless, she wouldn't turn.

Victoria stood in front of the hospital for a while, debating what she should do, when her cell phone started going off. She wiped her tear-stained face and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Mom, My water broke! and I can't get ahold of Tommy!"

"Oh god, Okay hang tight. I'll be there in a few minutes." Victoria hung the phone up and quickly unlocked her car, getting in. '_The perfect time for Jude to run off..' _She thought to herself and sped off.

Meanwhile-

"Your wife?" Natalie asked.

Tommy's face shot up and he shook his head vigorously.

"I don't have a wife. You mean Sadie? No, I'm not waiting for her." He informed.

"Oh, you and Sadie aren't married?"

"No."

"Sorry.." She felt slightly stupid now.

"Don't worry about it," He shook her previous question off.

"So..you are waiting for the other pretty blonde to call, aren't ya?" She asked in a flirty tone. Tommy averted his eyes to the recording room. She smiled.

"Thought so,"

At that minute Tommy's cell phone started to vibrate.

"I've gotta take this," He said, pulling it out and walking out of the room again.

"Sure sure," She said, still in her flirty tone.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, Sadie is at the hospital..shes having the baby." Kwests voice chimed through the phone.

"No way."

"Yeah. You better get down here quick."

"Down there? why are you there?"

"We've tried to reach you but we kept getting the voice mail. Sadie didn't want to be here alone, her mom drove her down here and then called me trying to find you."

"I'll be there in a few." He hung up the phone and peaked his head in the room again.

"I gotta go, be here tuesday," With that he left the studio and pulled his car out into the darkness.

-Meanwhile

Jude walked down the street and watched the cars pass her. Some would honk and she would ignore them, feeling she couldn't do anything about it. She didn't have a destination, all she knew was she couldn't go home. At least no one could reach her, her cell phone was turned off and in the backseat of her mom's car. All of a sudden, after turning a corner she spotted a few bright lights coming from a house. Cars were lined up down the side of the street and loud music could be heard. It was a party. Jude had never been to one..not a real one anyway. Of course there was the occasional birthday parties, which she hated and you could only guess why. But she had never actually partied.

She wiped a stray tear from her face and straightened her sweatshirt out. She was going to have fun tonight, she was going to be wild and different. She was going to forget what everyone else had told her. Why not make another bad decision?

Jude started toward the house and watched a few kids her age check her out, some giving her weird glances. She smiled in return, trying to fit in. Most of the people there were already drunk, it wasn't hard to tell.

"Hey!" Some boy called. Jude looked around, trying to figure out if he was talking to her or somebody else. She pointed to herself and lipped 'Me'? He smiled and nodded so she walked up to him.

"Hi," She said, simply.

"Hey, you're the instant star winner, right? Jude Harrison? Damn..you're hot in person!" His words were slurred and barely stumbled out. She laughed at his forwardness.

"Yeah..thats me..thanks?"

"You want to get outta here?" The boy asked, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Um," Jude looked around, unsure of what to say to that. She thought about it for a moment before smiling at him again.

"Sure.." The boy smirked and grabbed a couple of beers off the table before pulling Jude into an empty room and closing the door behind them.

Meanwhile-

"Hey, I got here as quick as I could..how is she?" Tommy asked, out of breath from running through the hospital.

"Shes fine, Tom." Victoria answered, coldly. Tommy nodded and put his hands inside of the jacket.

"Shes two months early, is the baby alright?" He asked, feeling guilty and worried.

"I had Sadie pre-mature, the baby should be fine. It happens all the time." She informed. Afterwards, tommy leaned against the wall.

"Shouldn't one of us be in there with her?" He asked, unknowing.

"She wants me in there. You are not welcome," Victoria walked through the double doors and left Kwest and Tommy alone in the waiting room.

"Did that just happen?" Tommy aked, shocked.

"Yeah, that just happened.." He said, looking down at the hospital floor. Tommy figured if he went against Victoria's wishes and went in there, there would be an argument and he didn't feel like it right now. He took a seat next to Kwest and leaned back against the back of the chair.

"Tom, I gotta tell you something," Kwest said, lightly. Tommy leaned forward and locked eyes with his friend who was desperately trying to look elswhere.

"What?"

**A/N - So? Whatcha think? Yes? No? Maybe? Undecided? Not sure! Anything people..I'll be happy with whatever ya'll wanna give me heh :) Thanks once again, I can't thank ya'll enough..and please review **


	13. Chapter 13 I want to tell you

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews you guys! And sorry if I confused ya'll last time, I meant a sequel to this story, but nevermind. I think after this one I'm going to take a break from writing..maybe I'll write one in a few weeks. Thanks again :)**

**Disclaimer- I do now own Instant Star**

**Chapter 13 - I want to tell you**

The boy pulled Jude close to him and began trailing kisses down her neck. She smiled, feeling cared for..for once. He stopped and pulled away, handing her a beer.

"Thanks" She twisted the top off and took a long sip, choking afterwards.

"Hey baby, chill..it ain't goin' nowhere." He smirked and took it away from her once again, backing her against a bed. She allowed him to do so. Beginning to kiss her neck again, he carefully leaned her down on the bed. She pulled away for a second, trying to slow things down a bit.

"Whats your name?" She asked, looking into his pretty green eyes.

"Daren.." He captured her lips and placed the beers on the floor before his hands began to roam her body.

Meanwhile -

"Come on Kwest, what is it man?" Tommy urged his friend to continue. Kwest lost his nerve.

"Goodluck. You're gonna be a great dad." Kwest said, smiling. Tommy gave him a weird look and then nodded.

"Thanks man."

"No problem T.."

After a few minutes of awkward silence Tommy got up and walked out of the hospital so he could use his cell phone, the signal sucked inside. He scrolled through his contacts until he reached Jude's name and then he hit the call button. After ringing several times he closed his phone and stuffed it back in his pocket.

"Where the hell is she?" He asked the air.

Meanwhile-

"Mom it hurts!" Sadie was doing her breathing exercises and she was already complaining about contractions. Victoria gripped her daughter's hand tightly and tried to comfort her.

"Where is Tommy? why isn't he here?" Sadie asked, gripping her stomach. Victoria looked down at her daughter's hand in hers and shook her head.

"I don't know." She lied. Sadie groaned in discomfort. This was going to be a long night.

Meanwhile -

Daren's hands slipped under Jude's sweatshirt and she tensed at his touch. He felt her tense and broke away from her lips.

"You okay?" He asked, alcohol warming his breath. Jude pulled her arms from her sides and placed her hands on his back.

"Yeah.." She said, hesitantly. He began to pull her sweat shirt off but she grabbed his hands, stopping him.

"Don't be scared..about what you see, I mean." She said, letting go of his hands. He didn't understand what she meant by that, I don't think he would have understood it if he wasn't drunk, but he shh'd her and pulled it completely off, leaving her in jeans and a tank top shirt. His eyes widened.

"You.."

"I told you not to be scared.."

His fingers traced over the scars and the newly made marks up and down her arm. She shook at his touch, it felt so good to have someone touch her. Have someone even near her. She barely knew this guy, but it seemed like she had known him forever.  
"Why?" He asked. She smiled.

"Everyone wants to know that..I can't give you a straight answer."

He nodded and one of his hands slipped under her shirt. He rubbed her flat stomach and his face came down to her stomach as well. He kissed it, gently. She closed her eyes.

He pulled her shirt up more and his hands went to her pants.

"Have you ever done this before?" He asked, while unbuttoning them. She shook her had, unable to speak. He smiled and pulled her pants down a bit. She started to get nervous.

"Um..hold on a second." She grabbed the beer from the ground and took a huge drink out of it. He laughed.

"You're going to make yourself sick,"

She clenched her eyes shut, trying to swallow it. It was disgusting. After finally swallowing it she got use to the taste and continued to drink the whole thing.

"Is there anymore?" She asked, setting the empty bottle aside. He chuckled.

"Yeah, I'll be right back." He kissed her forehead and then walked out. She scolded herself for doing what she was doing, but she couldn't stop now. Jude pulled her shirt back down, feeling uncomfortable.

_'Come on Jude..you can do this..What would Tommy think of you? No! don't think of Tommy! He is with Sadie..They are having a baby..It could be Kwest's baby..Stop it Jude! He is not yours and most likely never will be!..Daren is nice..I think..He isn't rushing you..I want this..I can do this..Tommy will just have to deal' _

She fiddled with her hands and watched the door intently. The room was so dark..maybe that was a good thing.

Meanwhile-

Tommy was already back inside with Kwest. Victoria had not come out again..it was making the two guys waiting, very nervous. Kwest kept debating whether or not he should tell Tommy what was going on..if he did Tommy could be happy about it and finally go after Jude or, he could kill him. Kwest hoped it would be the first one..

"I'm not ready to be a dad," Tommy said, burrying his face in his hands as he did before.

"Not this again, man. You can do it..don't worry," Kwest assured. Tommy shook his head and looked up.

"No, I can't..I can barely take care of myself, much less a kid." He said. Kwest laughed.

"Well..once you and Sadie are married it will make it alot easier."

Tommy snorted and spaced out for a second.

"I never pictured myself with Sadie..not married. I still can't picture it. I know this is going to sound crazy,..but dude..Jude was always there..I thought maybe if I waited for her..waited til she was legal, If I stayed with Sadie..I don't know.."

"That all the problems would go away and Jude would fall into your arms like you always wanted? Sorry man but you are with Sadie. She is having your baby..like I've said before, you have to get over her. If this isn't a big enough wake up call for you..I don't know what to tell ya."

Tommy nodded.

Meanwhile-

"Ow!" Sadie screamed, clenching the railing on the bed and Victoria's hand.

"It's okay Sadie, breathe." Victoria coached.

Sadie's eyes filled with tears.

"Mom, where is Tommy?"

"I told you Sadie, I don't know!" Victoria said it a little more harshly this time.

"Please find him," Sadie begged. Victoria shook her head.

"I can't leave you."

Sadie looked away from her mom and let a tear slide down her cheek.

**A/N - Whatcha think? Did it suck:-\ **


	14. Chapter 14 Getting lost in you

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews you guys and I'm glad you liked it:) So umm..heres the next chapter..don't hate me if I got some of the stuff in here wrong cause I was just guessing how most of it would go, yanno? Alright enough of me rambling..heres the next chapter**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 14 - Getting lost in you**

Daren came back into the room and smiled at Jude, he could see her shaking.

"Here you go, party girl." He handed her another beer. She smiled and took it gratefully.

"Thanks."

He sat down next to her and grabbed his own drink off the floor. They both sat in silence for a few minutes.

"So..you've never done this before, huh?" He asked, taking a sip out of the beer.

"No." She said..she sounded pathetic.

"What brings you here anyway?" He asked.

She shrugged.

"I don't know..too many things to name." He nodded.

"Look, If you need to talk.." He said, setting his beer down.

"You don't want to hear my problems.." She said, slowly.

He scooted closer to her and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"What I want to know..is why such a pretty girl like yourself, is cutting herself..are things really that bad?" He asked, sencerity showing through his voice. The beer was starting to wear off. He was becoming a little more sober.

She lowered her head and smiled at the ground, tears swelling in her eyes. She started to pour out her heart to the complete stranger.

After a while the two ended up laying down on the bed, she snuggled into his warm body and continued to tell him her story. He listened and comforted her when she needed it. After a few hours of just talking the two fell asleep together.

Meanwhile ( A few hours later) -

Tommy and Kwest were still waiting impatiently in the waiting room.

"Kwest..do you know where Jude is?" Tommy asked out of nowhere.

"How should I know?" Kwest responded, tiredly. Tommy shrugged.

"You're her new producer."

Kwest shrugged again.

Meanwhile -

"Oh my god!" Sadie gripped her mom's hand tighter.

"It's okay Sadie, you can do this. Breathe honey!"

"I hate Tom! I hate him! He did this to me!" Sadie shook her head.

"It's okay, breathe..in and out in and out, come on..you're doing it!"

"Owww!" Sadie bent over and gripped her stomach again.

"Mom..it's coming!" She screamed.

"Okay calm down. Doctor!"

The doctor walked over from the opposite side of the room and checked her dialation.

"Alright folks, It's time to deliver this baby." A few of the nurses walked over and they handed Victoria a face mask.

"Alright honey..you can do this." Victoria assured, grabbing Sadie's hand again. Sadie groaned and sat up.

"Okay Sadie..when I say push we need you to push as hard as you can, alright? Can you do that for me?" The doctor asked, still checking her dialation.

"Uh huh," Sadie replied, already out of breath.

The doctor prepared a few things and then told Sadie to push. She did as she was told, screaming the whole time.

"Good Sadie..that was good," The doctor said. Victoria patted Sadie's hand.

"You're doing great Sadie," She said, smiling. Sadie gave her mom a 'get away from me look' but Victoria continued to hold her hand.

"Just wait til' I get ahold of Tom." She said, her voice almost completely gone.

"Alright Sadie..push again." The doctor instructed. Sadie wiped the sweat from her forehead and pushed as hard as she could, still screaming.

"I see a head!" The doctor said, holding on to the baby's head, gently.

"Oh my god." Sadie said, falling back on the pillow behind her.

"Come on Sadie, you're almost there." Victoria said. Sadie groaned again and sat up.

"Okay, a big push this time." The doctor said.

"This time? If I push any harder I'm gonna push my guts out!" Sadie said, angrily. The doctor smiled.

"As hard as you can, come on, push!" Sadie pushed once again.

The doctor nodded.

"Okay good..now, one more push should do it!" He said. Sadie breathed in heavily and pushed for the last time. There was the sound of a baby crying and Sadie collapsed on the pillow again.

"Good job honey." Victoria kissed her daughter's forehead.

After a few moments of the doctor cleaning up the baby he handed it to Sadie.

"Congratulations..you have a healthy baby boy." Sadie smiled.

Victoria smiled as well and then she pushed the baby blanket away from the baby's face.

Meanwhile -

Kwest was falling asleep in his chair and Tommy was still trying to figure things out when the double doors opened and Victoria stood in the door way. Kwest looked up at her and Tommy did the same.

"Is everything okay? Is she okay?" Tommy asked, worriedly.

"Tom.."

**A/N - So? Whatcha think? I don't know..I'm not too crazy about this chapter but hey..it works I guess, so leave me a review, k? Tell me if it sucked..heh..:)**


	15. Chapter 15 Anyone but you

**A/N - Woo thanks for all the reviews you guys! alright, well, I hope I didn't disappoint anyone with this chapter...leave me a review okay? Thanks again!**

Disclaimer - I do not own instant star

**Chapter 15 - Anyone but you**

"Tom...you don't have to stay." Victoria said.

Tommy furrowed his eyebrows.

"What are you talking about? Is Sadie okay?" He asked again.

"She's fine..the baby is fine too." Victoria said.

"The baby? She had the baby?" Tommy's eyes started to glisten.

"Tom, you really don't need to stay.." She said once again.

"Are you crazy? Why wouldn't I stay?"

"Because...you're not the father."

Kwest swallowed hard and stood up.

"What?" Tommy asked, his voice airy.

"You're not the father..Kwest is, according to Sadie." Victoria said.

Tommy shook his head slowly and looked back at his friend. Kwest tried to say sorry but he was at a loss for words, they just wouldn't come out.

"All this time.." Tommy walked up to Kwest and stared at him. Kwest wouldn't care if he punched him, he deserved it, but the look Tommy was giving him was killing him. It was hurting him worse than any physical violence could.

"Tom..I'm sorry man." He was finally able to say. Tommy looked down at the ground and then at Victoria. Everything at that moment started to click. This was his chance. This is what was suppose to happen. Tommy smiled.

"You'll be a great dad." Tommy said and patted Kwest on the shoulder. Kwest smiled back.

"Thanks." Tommy nodded and then backed away from his friend.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find someone," He said, starting down the hallway. Kwest smiled.

"Go get her Tom."

Victoria started to shed tears of hate. She hated Tom Quincy, there was no doubt about it. This was for the best though..Sadie and Kwest loved eachother. Sadie couldn't lie to her and say she didn't love Kwest.

"You ready to see your baby?" Victoria asked, trying to recover from what just happened. Kwest smiled and walked through the doors with her.

Meanwhile -

Jude opened her eyes to see Daren laying next to her, his eyes open. He brushed her hair with his fingers, lightly. It felt so good. She smiled.

"Hi." She said, lightly.

"Hi." He said back and then leaned down and kissed her fully on the lips.

"I like you Jude.." He said, after breaking away.

"I like you too.." Jude said, pushing him down on the bed. She positioned herself on top of him and started to pull at his shirt. He smiled and took it off for her. Tears started to form at the rims of her eyes. He seen this and carefully switched positions with her so he could see her better. He lay on top of her.

"Do you want to do this?" He asked, not wanting to rush her into anything. She wiped away the tears and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said, slowly.

"What about that Tommy guy?" He asked. His words clawed at her heart.

"He's with Sadie.." She said, pulling at his belt. He nodded and kissed her lips again. She wanted this. Well..she needed this.

He took off his belt without breaking from the kiss and then went for her shirt.

Meanwhile -

Tommy left the hospital and called Jude's cell phone a few more times. Still no answer, it went straight to voicemail.

"Damn it!" He threw his cell phone in the floorboard and drove down the street, stopping at Jude's house. Once parked he jumped out and jogged to the front door. He banged on it for a few minutes screaming her name but no one came to answer. He sighed and looked around, wondering where she could be. His eyes fell on Jamie's house..maybe she was there.

After walking over to Jamie's he knocked on the door. Surprisingly, Jamie came to the door instead of anyone else, Tommy was happy about that.

"Tom? What are you doing here?" He asked, closing the door behind him.

"Is Jude here?" He asked, out of breath.

"No, why?"

"I need to talk to her..things didn't go too well when we talked earlier," He said, looking around the neighborhood. Jamie nodded.

"You're going to break her hear again, aren't you?" Jamie asked, watching Tommy. Tommy turned his head to face Jamie and he shook it slightly.

"Not this time." And with that he walked back over to his viper and got in. He pulled out of the driveway and headed for G-major. She had to be somewhere.

Meanwhile -

Daren had Jude's shirt off and he was trailing kisses down her collarbone. She was shaking under his touch but every time he pulled away she told him it was alright and to continue.

His hands went to the back of her bra and he was about to unclamp it when the door opened.

"Hey! I said no chicks in the room!" Some boy said.

Jude covered herself with a bedsheet and Daren also tried to cover her.

"Sorry.."

"Is that Jude Harrison?" The boy asked, stepping inside the room and closing the door.

"Jake, not now, not her." Daren pleaded. Jude squirmed underneath Daren and wrapped the sheet around her more.

"It is Miss Jude Harrison.." He said, coming closer to the bed. Daren stood up and blocked him from Jude.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jake asked, pushing Daren.

"Don't do this." Daren said once again.

"Too late. You're the one who brought the little tramp here, you know the deal." He said.

"Hey! I am not a tramp!" Jude protested.

Jake smiled.

"Thats why you were about to get nailed, huh?"

"It's not like that!" Jude said, holding back tears.

"It never is." Jake said, pushing Daren aside.

"Nice..she will do very nicely." Jake said, checking her out. She grabbed her shirt off the bed and backed up to the wall.

"Daren, what is he talking about?"

Daren lowered his head and shook his head, slightly.

"I'm sorry Jude.." He said, before walking out of the room and leaving Jude alone in the room with Jake who was setting up a video camera.

Jude ran for the door, but he pushed her on the bed.

"You're not going anywhere, slut." His words bit at her. She was still trying her best not to cry. Why did she have to get herself into this? How was she going to get out?

**A/N - So what did you think? Leave me a review ya'll :) **


	16. Chapter 16 Can't believe you

**A/N- Thanks for the reviews ya'll:) Alright well..Oh! I'm sorry about the typo last chapter..where Jamie is like "You're going to break her hear again aren't you." Yeah that was suppose to be 'heart' lol in case ya'll didn't know..my friend didn't..she had to ask me. Okay well keep reviewing and this story should be over in a few more chapters..if not one.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 16 - Can't believe you**

"What do you want with me?" Jude asked, tears falling swiftly down her cheeks.

"You are going to be the star of our show, you should be use to being the star by now." Jake said, hooking the video camera to the computer.

"Look, I shouldn't have came. Please just let me go," She begged, slipping the shirt over her head.

"Like I said before, you are not going anywhere." He confirmed, walking towards the door. Once he reached the door he opened it slightly and called out a few names. WIthin a few minutes there were 5 guys, including Jake, and 2 other girls in there with her.

"Now strip." Jake instructed, unbuckling his belt.

"What? No!" Jude protested, backing against a wall. The girls giggled, they were obviously drunk..or high, maybe drugged? Who knew?

"I said strip, whore!" One of the guys started towards her and before she knew it she felt a huge impact on her cheek and a stinging sensation afterwards. She curled her knees to her chest and leaned against the wall, shaking uncontrollably.

"Jude, just go with it, you'll like it I promise," A familiar voice drifted across the room. Jude looked up and her red, puffy eyes widened at what she saw.

Meanwhile -

Tommy burst through the doors of G-major and headed towards the first studio in sight. No sign of Jude. He checked every room, but still no sign of her. No sign of anyone..well it was like 3 o'clock in the morning..he wasn't expecting anyone to be there.

"Jude!" He called out, wishing she would come from around the corner with open arms, but life wasn't that simple, not for him anyway. Tommy finally gave up and ran out of G-major.

Meanwhile -

"Sarah?"

Sarah smiled, she was only in a bikini top and a seriously short skirt. A guy had her up against the wall and he was kissing her neck.

"You're 18 Jude, you're not a baby..I promise, you'll be okay." Sarah said. She moaned at the sensational feeling the guy was leaving her with.

"But..you."

"How do you think I got so famous?" Sarah asked with a smirk. Jude shook her head and tried to get up again.

"I'm not doing this. Let me out of here!" Jude pushed one of the guys aside and once again tried to get out of the room but as if on cue, Jake grabbed Jude by the back of her neck and pulled her towards the bed.

"Now now now, we aren't even close to being finished." He positioned himself on top of her and the guys crowded around the bed. The girls sat on the floor, waiting their turn as if they were puppets or something.

Meanwhile -

Tommy got back in his car and sped off onto the highway. Something had to be wrong, Jude was nowhere to be found. He took a left turn and started down a street that was fairly busy. There were a bunch of cars lined down the side of the road and he watched a bunch of kids outside of the house. All of them had a cup in hand and loud music was blaring. _'She wouldn't..'_ Tommy thought, pulling over behind the last car parked. He got out and started up the driveway.

Meanwhile -

Jake slipped Jude's shirt off and unbuttoned her pants against her will. One of the guys had pushed record on the video camera and edited it quickly to where a screen flashed saying "Virgin Instant Star Gets Nailed Live!" It was only recording though, even though it was live, it really wasn't. They had to edit a few things before they posted it on the internet.

Jude wimpered beneath him.

"Get off of me.." She said weakly. A few minutes ago he had shoved something in her mouth, it didn't have a taste, but it was sure doing it's job on her.

"It's okay baby," Another guy took over and held her arms above her head. Jake slipped her pants below her waist.

Her vision was starting to get blurry and all she saw was shapes of black and she heard faint giggling and distorted voices.

Meanwhile -

Tommy walked up to a few kids outside and asked them if Jude Harrison had walked inside, or if any of them had even saw her. All of them gave him the same answer. "Piss off," Wasn't exactly the sweetest group of kids. Tommy scoffed and made his way through the crowd of kids inside.

"Oh my god! It's Tom Quincy!" A girl screamed, pointing to Tommy. Tommy winced and turned to face the girl. Before too long a crowd of girls were surrounding him and it was hopeless, he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Meanwhile -

Jude lifted her head, groggily. Jake slammed it back against the bed and continued to take off the rest of her clothing, which was only a bra and he still had to get her pants completely off and then her underwear. He got her pants off and started with her bra. She squirmed, trying to get away from him but the other guy still had her arms and Jake's weight on top of her was just too much.

"Don't." She protested again, weakly.

"Shh.." Jake hushed her and unclamped her bra.

**A/N - whatcha think? Horrible? Review please:)**


	17. Chapter 17 Numb

**A/N - Hey ya'll! Thanks for the reviews:) ya'll are awesome..well anywho..heres the next chapter and I hope you like it **

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**WARNING - I do not believe that I should boost the rating to M because I don't think this chapter is that bad..it really isn't,..but It's not exactly cutesy either, yanno? So I'm Just saying..don't be offended or anything..you have been warned. (I truely dont believe it's that bad)**

**Chapter 17 - Numb**

Jude lay on the bed almost completely bare and the other two girls, Sarah and some other ditz, were instructed to also get on the bed and start stripping. Jude couldn't move, she felt numb and still could barely see anything. The light wasn't on but there were now a few candles illuminating the room.

"Now do as you're told Harrison, and you won't get hurt," Jake whispered in her ear. His warm breath tickled it and she moved her head to the side, wishing he would go away.

Jake stripped himself of his shirt and got on top of Jude, ignoring the groans of pain he was getting from her. He held on to her hips firmly and brought his head to her neck. He sucked on it and bit down, causing her to flinch. She couln't stop him, she could barely even see him. The other guys took Jake's lead and did the same to Sarah and the other girl, known as Mimi.

The two remaining guys were sitting out of view of the camera. One was waiting his turn, his act was later and the other guy was actually working the video camera.

"Ow," Jude groaned, barely a whisper. Jake was digging his nails into her theighs now, not caring what affect he would have on her, he continued to do so.

Meanwhile-

"Look, not right now." Tommy protested, pushing through the hormonal girls. They just kept coming back, they were like mosquitos, they just wouldn't go away.

"Jude!" Tommy called out into the loud music, he didn't think she'd be able to hear him, but it was worth a try. And of course, she didn't answer.

"Tommy Q, Will you marry me?" One of the girls asked. He looked down at her, fairly amused but immediately washed his thoughts away and turned his attention back to the crowd around him.

"Jude!" He tried again. Still no answer, not from her anyway.

"Tom?"

Meanwhile -

Jake's hands wandered all over her body, she didn't even feel him anymore. He had touched her everywhere possible, but she couldn't feel. Everything imaginable was going through her head. She wanted to cry, scream, and punch this guy for touching her, for holding her, for treating her like she was a slut. But she couldn't. That made it ten times worse.

"Now the fun begins.." Jake whispered, trailing kisses down her stomach and his fingers brushed a sensative spot right at the top of her theigh.

Meanwhile -

Tommy turned to face a young guy leaning against the wall next to the room Jude was in. His face was flushed and he looked like he was about to break at any minute.

"Who are you?" Tommy asked, pushing another girl out of his way and walking toward the boy.

"Daren. Look, are you looking for Jude?" He asked, his voice shaking a little. This made Tommy nervous.

"Is she here?" Tommy asked, hopeful.

"Look man, shes in trouble.." Daren said, looking toward the door to the room. Tommy's eyes followed the kid's.

"She in there?" Tommy asked, taking a step toward the door. Daren quickly stepped in front of Tommy.

"You don't want to go in there." He said, still shaking.

"Is Jude in there?"

"Yeah,.. but-"

Tommy cut him off by pushing him aside and opening the door. Surprisingly it wasn't locked.

His eyes widened and his hands balled into fists once he caught sight of the scene ahead. Jake had his hands on Jude's hips and his thumbs were brushing against Jude where Tommy knew she wouldn't allow anyone to touch.

"I suggest you get your hands off of her," Tommy said, his teeth clenched. He closed the door behind him. Jake chuckled a bit and kissed Jude on the lips passionately, but quickly before motioning for the man controling the camera to shut it off and then he got up and turned toward Tommy.

"Look pretty boy, I don't think you were invited." He said, smirking. Tommy ignored the creep and kept his eyes on Jude. She was almost completely naked before his eyes, but he wasn't even thinking about that. He watched her try to push herself up but fall back down. She even groaned Tommy's name which almost brought tears to his eyes.

"Are you listening ass hole? I said you weren't invited. Leave before I _make_ you leave." Jake said, walking toward Tommy and staring down at him as if trying to intimidate him. Sure this kid was taller, but obviously he wasn't too wise. Tommy was definitely not in the mood for this.

"Look, kid. One step closer and you'll wish you and your little wannabe friends had never even learned the meaning of the word 'internet'" Tommy said, seeing the video camera hooked up to the computer.

Jake narrowed his eyes and looked into Tommy's piercing blue ones. Tommy glared back. After a few minutes of silence Jake broke eye contact and opened the door.

"Come on, the slut ain't even worth it," Jake said to the other guys and girls. The guys followed. Tommy laughed angrily. The girls started to come by him and one of them caught his eye.

"Sarah?" He grabbed her arm, not allowing her to get out. He closed the door and pulled her toward the bed.

"Jesus.." Tommy said, eyeing Jude's state. Her lip was bloody and he saw all the cuts on her arm, they were finally exposed. There were even some cuts on her legs that he had guessed no one even knew about.

"Tommy.." She groaned, trying to pull her arms up to cover herself, but she was too weak. Sarah rolled her eyes.

His eyes were full of hurt, concern, and anger as he pulled her shirt back over her head, not even worrying about her bra, as long as she was covered. He didn't take the time to mess with her pants, he just wrapped the sheet around her and picked her up bridal style.

"Grab her stuff," Tommy said to Sarah, referring to her bra and pants. Sarah sighed, annoyed and did as she was told..

**A/N - So? Whatcha think? This story is almost over..phew lol, but review yall and tell me if you liked it or not.**


	18. Chapter 18 Stupid

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews you guys:) Well, I don't have much to say this time..surprising huh? lol here's chapter 18-**

**Disclaimer - I do now own Instant Star..though I wish I did :(**

**Chapter 18 - Stupid**

Tommy carried Jude through the crowd of wondering eyes. Even though the music was loud, almost everyone had heard what had went on in the room. He brushed by Jake and the other guys who were glaring at him and a few of the guys winked at Sarah. She smiled seductively at them. Tommy grunted, pulling Sarah close to him and walking out of the house, disgusted. Jude's eyes were now closed and her face was turned into Tommy's chest. Once they got near the car he cursed himself for bringing the viper.

"You're going to have to hold her," Tommy said to Sarah who widened her eyes.

"Excuse me? I don't think so. I'm not leaving." She said, Matter-of-factly. He laughed a little out of irritation.

"Oh yes you are," He said, supporting Jude with one arm and using his other hand to open the passenger car door. She looked at him in disbelief and gave in, walking over to the car. She scoffed and got in and Tommy put Jude in Sarah's lap before shutting the door and making his way to the driver's side. He got in and started the car, along with a lecture.

"Are you really that stupid?" He asked, his anger pointed at Sarah. A smirk formed across her lips.

"You know Tom..you used to like us bad girls." She said, eyeing him suggestively. He shook his head and his eyes fell back on the road.

"Does Incson know about your little night job?" Tommy asked, still disgusted. Sarah giggled.

"How do you think he found me?" She asked, bringing her hand to his knee and clutching it slightly. He took one hand off the wheel and pushed her's away.

"Where's your place?" He asked, looking out at the road. She sighed and gave him directions to her place. The rest of the ride was silent to her house. Once they got there, he got out and took Jude in his arms to make sure she wouldn't get hurt. Sarah rolled her eyes once again and blew a kiss at him.

"See you monday," She said before walking down a walkway to her apartment.

"About that, goodluck with your new producer.." Tommy said, carefully putting Jude back in the seat. Sarah turned around and her expression suddenly turned serious.

"What?" She asked, breathless.

"I'm out." He said, getting back in the car and speeding off without another word.

His eyes went from the road to Jude multiple times. She looked so helpless..so..lifeless. He wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss her gently, letting her know everything would be okay..but it wouldn't and he knew it. She would probably never give him the time of day, not now. He knew she needed help..she wasn't healthy and this crap wasn't doing her any good either. Whatever they gave her was certainly strong and it definitely had an affect on her. Thank god he got there before they did anything worse.

Where was he suppose to take her? He couldn't take her home..no one was there and he wasn't going to leave her alone. And he had no house key. The only other place was his apartment..she had never seen his apartment.

He glanced at her one last time before turning onto a street and heading towards his home.

Once they were there, the sudden stop made her open her eyes and she looked up at him. Her eyes were glossed over and red, but still..she was the prettiest thing he had ever seen.

"You okay?" He asked softly, concern written all over his face and clearly showing through his deep, husky voice.

Tears started to swell in her eyes. Everything that had happened rushed back to her, even what had happened between her and Tommy. All of this was too much to handle. He watched a tear make it's way down her cheek and he wiped it away, gently.

"It's okay Jude..I'm here." He tried to comfort her, but he didn't want to touch her.

"Tommy.." She groaned in pain and tried to get up from the laying position she was in. He pushed his arm out and stopped her.

"Don't try to move," He said, opening his door and getting out. He walked to her side of the car and opened it, cautiously. After doing so he picked her up bridal style again and made his way into the building with his arms around her, protecting her.

Once they took the elevator, he even managed to unlock the door with one hand. When he stepped inside he turned on the light and closed the door behind them. Jude closed her eyes, trying to get them adjusted to the light and felt herself being carried and then gently sat down on something soft. She looked down and recognized this thing as a couch. He hovered over her for a moment, searching for any other cuts or bruises he needed to know about. He saw no other so he went into the kitchen and grabbed some ice, wrapping it in a rag and wetting it slightly. He brought it up to her and sat beside her on the couch, holding it to her busted lip. She immediately flinched from the pain and he pulled it back only for a second.

"It'll take the swelling down." He said, bringing it back to her lips.

She stared blankly at the inside of the couch and her shoulders began to shake so Tommy looked up at her newly tear filled eyes. This was killing him.

"I'm so stupid." She sobbed. The drug was starting to wear off and she could move a little bit. She brought her hands out of she sheet and wrapped them around her chest, self-conciously. Tommy couldn't help but look away.

"Look at me.." She said, barely motioning toward her outfit. He didn't look at her, only stared at the coffee table before him.

"I was so scared," She whispered.

Tommy finally looked over at her and watched the different expression on her face. She looked so guilty..yet so innocent. How could one person hold so many feelings?

"You'll be okay." He cooed, finally letting himself touch her. He carefully brushed her hair out of her face, but at his touch she started to shake. He immediately pulled away and looked at her one last time before retreating to the kitchen, once again.

Jude scolded herself for the reaction she had to Tommy touching her, but she couldn't help it. She was so scared and at anyone's touch she would have jumped.

A few minutes later Tommy came back with a bottle of water and set it on the table beside her.

"Drink it, It'll help." He said with a concerned smile and then he walked into a room and came back a few minutes later with a few blankets and pillows in hand. Jude smiled at him.

He wrapped two of the blankets over her and put a pillow under her head, gently and then kissed her on the forehead. This time she didn't move. He then sat in the recliner next to her and also fixed the blanket over him and the pillow behind his head.

"Try to get some sleep," He said, switching the lamp that sat next to him off. Jude pushed herself up and watched his tired eyes slowly close and soon he was asleep. She couldn't sleep, not after everything that had happened that night.

She turned to her side and continued to watch Tommy. He looked so peaceful when he slept, he looked like an angel..her angel. That brought a small smile to her face and tears to her eyes. He was Sadie's..so she thought. If only she could get up and find something sharp, she'd end her misery right then and there, close to the one she loved. The only one she loved.

After a while of just watching him her vision started to dim and everything was going dark. Her eyes closed and she drifted off into a unpleasant sleep and an unpleasant dream.

_Jude lay on the bed, limp under his strong arms. He was kissing her right below her ear and she tried to stop him, but once again she couldn't move._

_"No.." She groaned, weakly holding her hands to his chest. He smiled down at her and his piercing blue eyes looked right through her._

_His hands traveled up and down her exposed stomach and his mouth ran along her collar bone. She heard laughing in the background and saw things unimaginable going on around her._

_"Please.." She groaned, pushing him a bit harder this time. The man just smiled down at her viciously and his hands made their way down to her theighs._

_"Thats right, beg for it." The guy said, smirking. _

_She shook her head slowly. He knew she didn't mean it like that. _

_"Come on girl, beg." She heard him once again and his hands made their way higher. She bit her bottom lip and wimpered from the weight about her. _

_She looked up again into his once loving eyes and her own filled with tears as his hand finally met it's destination. She squirmed from the pain and cried under him._

_"Tommy please don't..no.." She cried helplessly. _

Jude opened her eyes and wiped the sweat from her forehead. Her shirt was drenched with wetness and so were the blankets that were surrounding her. Her eyes fell on the figure sitting on the floor beside her. He rubbed her cheek gently.

"It was only a nightmare..I'm here," Tommy cooed, letting her cry into his shoulder.

**A/N- So? What did you think? Hope I didn't disappoint anyone..please review you guys:) Y'all are still awesome! **


	19. Chapter 19 Confessions

**A/N- So I take it you guys liked the last chapter:) YAY! Thanks for the reviews I love you guys! I kind of had a hard time writing this chapter..I don't know why..I hope it doesn't show? Well anywayz..heres ya go!**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 19 - Confessions**

The sun came through the window and burned her stinging cheeks as she backed away from Tommy and he looked into her eyes. He could see the hurt shining in them.

"You okay?" He asked softly, wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks. She nodded and smiled gratefully.

He let go of her and grabbed the water bottle from the table, shaking his head.

She continued to smile.

"I'll get you another.." He said, walking into the kitchen. He came back a few minutes later with a new water bottle in hand and he watched Jude struggle to get up. He placed the bottle back on the table and then held out his hand for her to take.

She used one hand to hold the sheet around her and with her other she took his hand.

After he helped her up his arm snaked around her waist. She tensed at his touch and looked over at him.

"Tommy..why aren't you with Sadie right now?" She asked, timidly.

"Because I'm here with you." He said with a smile

"You know what I mean.." She said.

Tommy ran his free hand through his hair and shook his head.

"Theres alot I need to tell you..but not right now." He said, slowly.

Jude had no idea what he was talking about, but decided not to ask.

"You want to take a shower?" He asked, receiving a raised eyebrow from her. He smirked.

"I'll take that as a yes..can you walk on your own?" He asked, letting go of her after she nodded.

"It's the second door on the right." He said, pointing down the hall and handing her her clothes.

"Thanks Tommy.." She smiled at him before disappearing behind the corner.

---------------------------------------------------------

"Sadie.." Kwest started, looking down at the worn out girl below him. Victoria couldn't stand anymore of the drama so she left the room.

"Hey." Sadie said, a small smile making it's way across her lips.

He cupped her cheek in his hand and looked into her eyes, lovingly. She tried her best to look away because she was embarrassed about the whole situation, but she couldn't bring herself to remove her gaze from his.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, softly.

"I didn't know." She stated truthfully. He nodded and looked down at her shaking hands.

He brought his other hand to hers and pulled it to his lips, kissing it gently.

"I'm here," He said and she couldn't help it anymore, tears made their way down her cheeks.

"Hey, don't cry." He said, wiping her tears away and bringing her smile back.

"I'm not going anywhere." He promised.

-------------------------------------------------------

Tommy sat on a stool at his kitchen counter and was staring ahead at nothing in particular. He was trying to gather his thoughts and figure out what he wanted to say to her. He now had the chance to have her..kind of..if she still wanted to be with him. Why would she? He hurt her so many times..he was lucky she still talked to him.

He must have spaced out for a while because a few minutes later he heard a door open and footsteps coming from the hallway. He looked over and saw her fully dressed but her cheeks were pink with embarrassment.

"Hey." She said, walking over and sitting on to stool next to him.

"Hey." He said in return.

Jude looked around, finally taking in her surroundings.

"Nice place." She said, half-smiling.

He shrugged and then there was silence for a few minutes.

"What was your dream?" He asked, taking her attention off his living room. He watched her stiffen and fidget with her hands.

"It was about what happened.." She said, still embarrassed. He immediately got it and backed off the questions. Jude took this to her advantage.

"Why aren't you with Sadie?" She asked once again. He sighed and looked over at her, hurt burning his eyes.

"Sadie had the baby,"

"She had the baby? She is only seven months! Is it okay? why didn't anyone call me?" Jude asked, getting up from the stool.

"We tried to call you. Your cell phone was off." He stated, turning his body toward her.

"Well is the baby okay?" She asked, still worried.

"Yeah..the baby is fine."

Jude calmed down a little and took her seat once again on the stool. She watched Tommy search for words to say and decided just to ask.

"Why aren't you there with her?" She asked, even more timid this time.

"Because...I'm not the father." Hurt clearly coming through his voice.

"You mean..Kwest?" Jude asked, as Tommy's facial expression changed.

"You knew?" He asked, taken aback.

"Tommy it's not like that.." She tried to explain, but she could see that he didn't want explanations right now..she didn't think he did anyway.

"Then what's it like Jude? 'cause it sounds to me like I'm the fool here. I'm the only one who didn't know." He said, getting up and starting to walk down the hall.

Jude ran her hand through her air, irritated with herself and then followed.

"Tommy please just listen." She begged, trying to get him to turn around, but he didn't.

"Tommy!" She screamed, following him inside of his room.

He finally turned to her, his eyes glazed with emotion.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay? Kwest told me not to tell anyone about it so I promised I wouldn't." She said.

His eyes were burning her and she could feel his anger.

"I'm sorry." She repeated, bringing him into an embrace that he couldn't help but return. She smiled and kissed his neck in a friendly way before pulling away and looking at him again.

"I'm sorry too, girl." He said sincerely.

Jude furrowed her eyebrows.

"About what?" She asked, confused.

"Kissing you, leaving you, hurting you, the list goes on and I'm sorry."

She smiled and pushed him slightly.

"Apology accepted, Quincy."

**A/N - So? Was it bad? Please review:)**


	20. Chapter 20 You're everything to me

**A/N - Thanks for the reviews y'all! Alright well..seriously? I don't know how many chapters are left..I'm just kind of writing along as the story goes..heh. Please tell me if you get bored with it? I hope you're not getting bored with it. Well anywayz...here's the chapter-**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 20 - You're everything to me**

After all the apologizing Tommy gave Jude the proper tour of his apartment. They spent most of their time in the studio at Jude's request.

"This place..it's beautiful." Jude said, running her finger along the polished switchboard. Tommy chuckled.

"It's alright." He said, leaning back in his chair. She gave him a goofy smile and then continued to mess with everything in the studio. She looked like a little kid in a candy store so Tommy continued to laugh.

"What?" She asked, picking up one of his many guitars. It was acoustic but it had a nice faint red tent to it which made her heart skip a beat. It was the prettiest guitar she had ever seen.

He smiled at her giddiness and he saw her eyes light up the moment she layed eyes on the guitar. It was only a matter of time before she'd pick it up.

"Like it?" He asked, sitting up and resting his elbows on his knees. She didn't even answer him, only started strumming chords on the guitar.

"Something you and Kwest worked on?" He asked, his words came out more sour than he intended them to.

"No, actually..I made it when you were my producer..before everything went wrong." She said, sadly.

He smiled and nodded.

"It's nice..you might want to pick up the tempo though." He said, getting up and walking behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and mimicked her earlier chords, but at a faster pace. She immediately liked it.

After a few moments of doing this Tommy stopped, but kept his arms around her with his hands on the guitar.

"This reminds me of the peir." She said, letting her head fall back comfortably into his shoulder. He laughed a little.

"You got on my nerves so bad back then," He joked, receiving a mock hurt look from Jude. She pushed him away and he laughed all the way back to his earlier seat.

"How do you think I felt? Stuck with some boybander with no sense of style." She said inbetween laughs. Her last comment was reffering to his bandana.

He held up his hands in defeat.

"Truce?"

"Yeah." She replied, still smiling with everything she had.

"I don't regret any of it though." Jude said, seriously. Tommy smiled and then nodded.

The two spent a few minutes just gazing into each other's eyes before Tommy decided to break the silence.

"So, that song have lyrics?" He asked. Jude blushed.

"Yeah."

Tommy motioned for her to go on, but she only stared down at her feet.

"You alright?" He asked.

She smiled to herself and looked up at him, shyly.

"Yeah it's just..It's been so long since I sang for anyone besides Kwest." She immediately regretted saying that because Tommy looked so hurt by her words.

"It's just me, Jude." He said, softly.

She nodded and tried her best to brush away her nerves. After taking a few minutes to calm herself, she started strumming again..softly at first.

_"In a dream I may_

_On a star I might_

_Wish that you and I_

_Could have our chance_

_As I lay awake_

_Letting memories slide_

_Everything I am _

_And everything I left behind_

_Come with me, it's alright_

_Trust in me, Please don't hide_

_If you ask me, I won't deny_

_You're everything to me_

_Choose your words just as you like_

_I'll be waiting at your side_

_If you ask me, I won't deny_

_You're everything to me.."_

She stopped playing and looked up from the guitar to see Tommy staring at her with a goofy smile on his face. Okay, so he knew the song was about him..obviously.

"So? What did you think?" She asked, setting the guitar down next to her.

"It was perfect." He said, getting up and walking toward her.

Her breath was caught in her throat and she tensed just watching him come close to her. Everything possible was going through her mind. He was getting more near by the second and he had that look in his eyes again. He was going to do something that they both would regret later, right?

"Jude.." He said, pulling her up by her arms. She wanted to push him away and run, but like every other time she was hypnotized by his bright blue eyes. She couldn't move.

He brought his lips to hers slowly and then finally they touched. Everything was perfect for that moment. Everything was right..both of them felt it, neither of them wanted to let go. His hands looped around her waist and he held her close to him. Her hands went to his neck and she pushed her lips more firmly against his.

After a ten minute make out session they both pulled away gasping for air. Tommy couldn't take his eyes off of Jude and Jude couldn't help but blush.

Tommy smirked.

"That was.." He started, only to be finished by Jude.

"Perfect." She said, without a care in the world.

"Yeah." He agreed and leaned down to kiss her again, but she pushed her head to the side, making him miss her mouth and kiss her cheek.

"We should get to the hospital," She said, a smirk forming on her lips.

He laughed, knowing why she was smirking. She had control of him..Yeah, so what.

He smiled at her and then turned off the light, guiding her out of the apartment.

**A/N - So? What did you think? Review y'all:)..I'd like to call this chapter "Finally" hehe**


	21. Chapter 21 Apologies

**A/N - Hey you guys..thanks for the reviews:) Well, this isn't my favorite chapter 'cause it's kind of a filler? But it's okay I guess..I hope you guys like it or atleast think it's okay. I haven't been up to writing lately which really sucks, but I tried and this is what came out of it -**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 21 - Apologies**

Tommy and Jude walked into the waiting room hand in hand to see Victoria glaring. Tommy immediately dropped Jude's hand and leaned against the wall before giving Jude a reassuring smile. She walked up to Sadie's room slowly and hesitantly.

She knocked softly a few times and Kwest told her to come on in.

"Hey," she said lightly, smiling at her sister. Sadie looked up at Jude weakly and returned the gesture.

"How are you feeling?" Jude asked.

"Like I just had a baby." Sadie groaned this time. Jude laughed.

"Um, Kwest, can I talk to Sadie alone for a few seconds?"

Kwest nodded and kissed Sadie on the cheek before exiting the room and joining Tommy and Victoria in the waiting room. As soon as he stepped in he could feel the coldness rejecting off of Tom and Victoria. This wasn't going to be pretty.

Jude pulled a chair up close to the hospital bed and leaned over the railing.

"Why didn't you tell me Sade?" She asked, clearly not mad. Sadie's eyes were full of sorrow and she would only let Jude catch a glimpse of them.

"I didn't want things to get complicated. I knew Tom loved you, it's obvious. I wasn't sure who the baby's dad was and..I didn't know how Kwest would react knowing he could be the dad..I'm so sorry Jude, I messed up." Sadie said sincerely.

Jude nodded, trying to take everything in.

"Yeah..so..are you and Kwest..a you and Kwest now?" Jude asked, watching a smile form on Sadie's lips.

"I'm going to move in with him when ever I get out of here." Sadie said, watching Jude's once bright eyes dim.

"But then..It'll be me and mom." She said, wiping her bangs from her eyes.

Sadie grabbed Jude's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Tommy loves you, Jude. I'm sorry I ever stood in the way..You are 18, you can do whatever you want. I know you and mom don't get along..But you are an adult now and you don't have to listen to her."

Jude nodded and smiled at her sister, gratefully.

"So, what's your baby's name?" Jude asked, eagerly.

"Heh..we still haven't decided."

Jude's eyes widened and she burst out into laughter. Sadie's smile disappeared and she glared at her sister.

"Sadie come on, you had the baby, isn't that a bit of a wake up call?" Jude said, trying to stifle her laughter.

"Well we can't decide inbetween Jay and Conan."

"Oh no, Sadie, don't torture the kid..Conan? I will love my nephew no matter what, but if you call him that I can gaurantee he will be picked on. I can see it now..conehead," Jude said, still laughing. Sadie scoffed and shook her head in disbelief.

"Conan is a nice name! He will be very intellegent." Saidie remarked, more to herself than to Jude.

"I'm just playing Sade..but seriously..go with Jay." Jude said, now smirking. Sadie sighed.

"Yeah you're right..I hate it. Kwest was right." She said with a scowl on her face which only caused Jude to laugh again.

Meanwhile -

Kwest motioned for Tom to walk out of the room with him and Tommy eagerly did so. Once they were outside of the room and out of eye sight of Victoria, Kwest started laughing.

"It's not funny man, did you see how she was looking at me? She hates me." Tommy said, his face in his hands.

"That never stopped you before." Kwest slyly remarked.

"None of those other girls mattered.."

"And Jude does?" Kwest's eyebrows perked up.

"More than anything." Tommy answered without a trace of hesitation in his voice.

"Then it shouldn't matter."

Meanwhile-

"Well I better get back out there..I left Tommy to fend for himself," Jude said, getting up and dropping Sadie's hand.

"Yeah. Goodluck."

"I'll be back tomorrow." Jude promised, walking out of the room.

Victoria's eyes immediately drifted to Jude and Jude could've sworn that her mother's eyes were red with anger.

"Stay away from him, Jude. He is a cheater and he's up to no good,"

Jude rolled her eyes and walked passed her mom, but Victoria grabbed Jude's arm before she could leave.

"Jude I'm serious." Victoria growled.

"Mom, I'm 18 now. You can't tell me what to do anymore. Goodluck with Don." And with that, Jude pulled her arm from her mother and started out again.

"No daughter of mine who lives in my house will date Thomas Quincy." Victoria stated, coldly.

Jude stopped dead in her tracks and tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She couldn't help but be sad.

"Then I guess I'm moving out." She said and then finally made it out of the room.

"Hey Kwest." Jude greeted, hugging him. Kwest returned the gesture and then two sets of eyes fell on Tommy who was trying his best to look un-nerved.

"Hey." Jude continued, walking over to Tommy and giving him a hug. Tommy slowly and hesitantly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. Kwest just smiled.

"Alright lovebirds, I'm gonna get back to Sadie." He said before smirking and turning to walk out.

"You better be good to her," Jude remarked, knowing he would.

Kwest just shook his head, smiling. Then he walked out.

"Tommy..I know this is kind of sudden.." Jude started.

"What?" He asked, totally confused.

"I can't go home.." She continued.

"Thats alright..you can stay at my place tonight, no problem."

"Um, thanks but, I mean..I can't ever go home." Tears now falling down her cheeks. She tried her best to stop them, but there was no use. Tommy wiped the tears from her cheeks and brought his head to hers. He rested his forehead on hers.

"You are more than welcome to stay with me." He soothed. She smiled weakly at him and nodded, kissing him on the lips quickly.

"Thanks Tommy."

Victoria watched from around the corner, disgust written all over her face.

**A/N - Completely horrible? Hope not -- well..leave me a review! please? Thanks for the reviews so far :)**


	22. Chapter 22 Thanks Quincy

**A/N - Thanks SO much for the reviews y'all! I love you guys so much! Okay well..This chapter isn't that eventful but it is kind of leading up to the next couple of chapters. I'm glad you didn't hate the last one..it still wasn't my favorite. Heck, this one isn't my favorite, but like I said..I haven't been up to writing lately. Anywho Thanks again and I hope you like the chapter! Please continue reviewing**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 22 - Thanks Quincy**

Jude grabbed her cell phone out of her mom's car, turned it on, and shoved it in her pocket which made Tommy finally understand why she hadn't answered her phone earlier. They got in the viper and drove off.

After stopping back at his place to get his Hummer, Tommy took Jude by her house and let her run in to grab some of her clothes. She also got a few pictures and personal belongings. When about Twenty minutes passed Tommy got out of his car and went into the house, wondering why Jude was taking so long.

He walked up the steps slowly, examining the pictures of Jude and Sadie growing up. There were even some of her father..her father. He had no idea what was going on. Tommy shook the thought away and continued up to Jude's room. Without knocking, he opened the door and watched her close a small kit-like box, quickly.

"What's that?" He asked, immediately.

"Nothing, Tommy." She picked the kit up and tried to get passed him, but he grabbed the box out of her hand and opened it.

"Jude." He said, looking through all the different razors and rubber bands inside.

"I wasn't going to bring it. I was going to throw it away..I didn't think I'd need it anymore." She said, rubbing her arm and staring down at her feet.

He used one hand to bring her chin up so that her face would face his and then he searched for honesty in her eyes.

"Alright." He finally said, handing her the case back. He trusted her completely. Hopefully she wouldn't do anything to make him lose trust for her. She smiled weakly and left the room. He decided to make himself useful and grab some of her bags that were already packed and bring them downstairs. After everything was packed and in the car, the two drove back to Tommy's.

-At Tommy's-

They walked inside and Jude smiled at her new home. Everything was so perfect..besides the fact that she still had to explain everything to her dad.

Tommy grabbed the bags out of her hands and took them to the guest room for her. She smiled at his respectfulness.

"Thanks." She simply said and followed him. This was the first time she had ever seen this room. It wasn't too small and the walls were an off-white and on the walls were albums. She already loved it.

"It's great, Tommy." She said, still eyeing the room.

The bedspread was brown and the pillow cases were an even lighter brown. The night stand was shiny and black and the dressers matched the night stand. Although, the carpet matched the walls and bed. All in all, everything in the room pretty much matched and it created a very cozy vibe.

Jude sat down on the bed and sighed to herself which only caused Tommy to smile.

"Well, I'll let you unpack." He said, retreating to the bathroom for a shower.

Jude got up and closed the door, before squealing to herself. Tommy heard from the hallway and laughed.

Jude unpacked her clothes and started putting them in dressers. She then noticed another door in the room, funny she didn't notice it before. She put the last of her clothes in the dresser and then walked over, opening the door slowly.

"Wow." She whispered. She opened the door completely to reveal a nice white-tiled bathroom. It was so clean. There was a walk in shower and a nice bathtub with mirrors all the way around. And she thought Tommy's bathroom was nice..

She smiled and closed the door, continuing to unpack her stuff. The next to come was pictures. She had only brought a few..some of her and Sadie and of course her and Tommy. Some of her dad and her mom together. Even though her mom was treating her like this, she still loved her and she still needed her, even if she didn't want to admit it.

After the pictures were set on the dressers she put a few other things on her dresser and then a few things in the bathroom. Everything was now unpacked and it now looked like a girl's room. A very nice girl's room.

She was content with how it looked and decided to go see what Tommy was up to. Everything was so awkward though..she felt out of place and in place at the same time. Suddenly feeling silly, she walked out to the living room and spotted Tommy sitting on the couch.

"Hey." She said, taking a seat next to him. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him.

"Hey." He replied, smiling.

"You didn't tell me there was a shower in there too." She said, laying her head on his shoulder. She felt his shoulder vibrate under her. He was laughing.

"I thought I'd let you find it on your own." He said, smirking.

Jude sat there for a few moments just trying to get her mind off of things. It was working..kind of. Being with him helped and everything, but all the stuff going on with her mom and Sadie and now Kwest..Not to mention her dad. Everything was so crazy.

"Hey Tommy?"

"Hmm?" He asked, drifting off.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Did you care about Sadie more than you care about me?"

Tommy looked down at her with a serious look on his face. He was obviously shocked and taken aback by her question.

"Why would you ask that?" He questioned, bringing his hand to Jude's cheek and rubbing it lightly.

"Well..I thought you were going to marry her..."

Tommy shook his head and looked away.

"If I would have..it would only be because of the baby. I've never felt anything for anyone, the way I feel for you." He said, truthfully.

She smiled and nodded.

"Thanks Quincy."

"For what?"

"Being you." She said.

He smiled and nodded.

Tommy leaned in and his lips brushed hers. He teased her, knowing it was killing her. She smiled and bit her lip. Tommy kissed her cheek and his warm breath was torturing her. Finally, not being able to take it anymore, Jude captured his lips and his hands went to her sides. She was pulling him back and he was positioning himself over her when her cell phone started going off. She groaned and he continued to kiss her. It kept ringing so Jude kissed him quickly, before struggling to get her cell.

"Hello?" She asked breathlessly. Tommy continued to trail kisses up and down her neck and along her jawline.

"Kwest, slow down..." Tommy stopped kissing her and watched her eyes which were now full of concern.

"Wait, What's wrong with My mom?"

**A/N - So? What did you think? I have a few ideas for the next chapter..I can't promise anything, BUT I think this story could be taken to the next level..aka: M, but I am really not sure. I don't think I'm up to writing something like that and I know If I did..I'd surprise alot of people lol. It could happen, but I highly doubt it. Just saying it could and it might. Okay well thanks for the reviews so far and PLEASE continue reviewing? I really look forward to your reviews. I can't thank you guys enough!**


	23. Chapter 23 Taking my life

**A/N - Hey y'all thanks for the reviews! Alrighty well...this chapter is um, interesting? The last part of it is the beginning to the next chapter (Duh, I know that sounded stupid, but you'll get what I mean when you read it) Anywho, I hope you like it! Review and tell me whether or not it sucked.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 23 - Taking my life**

Jude and Tommy entered the hospital once again and Jude was in tears once again. It seemed like a never ending cycle. Everytime something good happened and everything seemed to be going okay..the rain started to fall and reality kicked in.

"Kwest, How is she? What did the doctor say?" Jude bombarded him with questions and Tommy just allowed her to do so. He squeezed her hand, trying to comfort her.

"He said it was just a mild heart attack. Stress and such caused it, she will be fine." Kwest assured, placing a comforting hand on Jude's shoulder.

"It's all my fault." Jude cried, bringing her hands to her face and smothering herself in tears.

"Don't blame yourself. With everything thats been going on lately..it's not your fault." Tommy cooed, now wrapping his arm around her waist and bringing her close to him. She rested her head against his chest and continued to cry.

Kwest watched and smiled uncomfortably. Tommy could see in Kwest's eyes that everything wasn't okay and it was more serious than he made it out to be. Yeah, he said everything would be okay, but there was a huge chance that everything wouldn't. But Tommy continued to hold Jude and rub her back, whispering soft, settle words in her ear. It was all he could do.

After she calmed down a little bit she turned around and wiped her eyes dry.

"Does Sadie know?" She asked, clearing her throat.

"Yeah. I told her before I called you." Kwest said.

Jude nodded and looked in the direction of her mother's room.

"Is she awake?" Jude asked, timidly. Kwest's mouth curved into a frown and he nodded.

"You can see her..the doctor said she was a little weak, but she's awake."

Jude tried to stare into the room through the window, but couldn't see anything. She was stuck standing there, she couldn't move. Of course she wanted to see her mom..but not in the condition she was in. How could anyone look at their mother in a hospital bed? It would be heart breaking.

Jude breathed in deeply and dropped Tommy's hand, walking towards the door.

She opened the door slowly and watched the light from the hall fill the room. Everything was dim and it was freezing inside. Her mother lay helplessly on the bed. Her eyes were closed, but Jude could tell by her breathing that she was awake.

"Mom?" Jude choked out, watching her mother's eyes flutter open and fall on her daughter. Victoria's eyes were glazed and distant. She said nothing.

Jude closed the door behind her and walked towards her mother slowly. To her it felt as if the walls around them were caving in and nothing else in the world mattered. It was her fault that her mother was in here. It was her fault, all the pain that she had caused the previous months..the previous year. It was all her fault.

Jude pulled a chair close to the bed and watched her mother look at her as if she didn't know her. She _didn't_ know _her_. She wasn't the same Jude anymore. She was some horrible person now who cut and went to parties, getting drunk and almost sleeping with strange guys. She was the one who made the people who cared about her the most worry about her. She was the one who caused pain and suffering to her mother. She was not the same seventeen year old girl that everyone knew. She wasn't Jude Harrison anymore. She was a monster.

"Mom I'm so sorry." She broke down, leaning her head against the rail. Once again, no words escaped her mother's lips. The room was silent except for Jude's constant sobs.

-Outside the room-

"What's really going on?" Tommy asked Kwest who focused his attention on the floor.

"The doctor said it was pretty severe. I'm not sure what's going to happen. He also said that Vicky was in shock..I called Don, he should be down soon." Kwest explained.

Tommy ran a hand through his hair and watched the door that Jude had just walked through.

"They don't know if shes going to be okay?" Tommy asked.

"Afraid not." Kwest answered, sadly.

"I just hate that she blames herself." Tommy said, leaning against the wall and sticking his hands inside of his jacket pockets.

"I know man, I know."

-Back inside of the room-

Jude now had her mother's hand and was smiling down at it. She ran her fingers over her mom's knuckles and along her palm.

"I'm sorry." She would whisper over and over again as if her mother was going to embrace her at any minute and tell her everything was okay. That wasn't going to happen.

"I'm so sorry." She continued to cry.

A few moments later the door swung open and a man with a white coat walked in. He had glasses on and he was holding a clipboard.

"You must be Jude." The doctor said, walking towards her.

Jude wiped her tears away as best as she could and dropped her mother's hand.

"Yeah thats me."

"I'm Dr. Centil," He said, offering his hand. She took it and shook it slightly.

"This is your mom?" He asked, motioning towards Victoria. She nodded and crossed one hand over her chest and rested the other over it, bringing her hand to her cheek.

"Yeah, is she going to be okay?" She asked, timidly.

The doctor walked over to Victoria and checked her as he did earlier.

"She's still kind of out of it. It was a good thing she was already here when it happened..It could have been alot worse. What happens tonight determines whether she'll make it or not." He said, concern written all over his face.

Jude heard the uncertainty in his words. They weren't very convincing.

"But right now she needs her rest. Theres nothing you can do for her anyway." He said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and guiding her out of the room. She didn't want to leave, but she wasn't about to resist a doctor.

After they were outside of the room the doctor nodded and walked down the hallway. Jude smiled weakly at Tommy and her eyes glistened with new tears.

"Tommy.I think I'm going to stay here tonight with my mom." Jude said as Tommy wrapped his arm around her.

"Jude no, you don't need to stay in this place. I'm already staying for Sadie and the baby. If I hear anything then I will call you and let you know." Kwest stated.

"I really think I should stay." Jude protested, looking up at Tommy.

"Girl, I think he's right. This isn't good for you." Tommy agreed.

Jude just nodded and hugged Kwest before leaving with Tommy. Before they left the hospital they stopped by the nursery and finally seen Jay. He was adorable, he had Sadie's eye's surprisingly.

The two drove home in silence.

Once they were finally back at Tommy's he cooked something quick to eat, but Jude declined and went to bed without eating. She cried herself to sleep and Tommy decided she needed some time alone so he let her do so.

It was around one in the morning when Jude sat up in her bed, sweating and gasping for air. She had another nightmare. This time her mother was in it. She didn't make it. But it was only a dream. Jude climbed out of bed and walked into her new bathroom, still panting. She turned on the light and looked into the mirror before her.

"God." She said to herself. Her hair was messy and her make up was smeared once again. She ran her hand under her eyes and wiped the eyeliner away and then washed her face.

She couldn't sleep anymore. Knowing the condition her mother was in..there was no way she could sleep..not peacefully anyway.

Jude turned off the light and walked out of the bathroom and into her room again. She grabbed her guitar from its case and opened her door quietly. All the lights were off and she could see Tommy sleeping in his room, his door was open. She smiled and walked passed his room and into the studio.

It took her a minute to find the light switch, but once she found it she settled herself on a couch and started to strum light, sweet chords on her guitar. The music came so easily that she was scared herself by it. They were just pouring out of her and soon..words were coming to mind and they escaped her quivering lips.

_"Taking my soul_

_Taking my life_

_I can not breathe_

_Though i must take this self sacrafice_

_A world so cold so no one cares_

_No one will notice i'm gone_

_No one will notice I'm gone.._

_Screaming at the grave_

_Tearing at my life_

_The chance you never gave_

_Entering the sacred night_

_I reached out for your help_

_You pushed me back inside_

_Watching me collapse_

_Hearing my bones collide_

_Taking my soul_

_Taking my life_

_I say my last goodbyes to the world that never cared.."_

Jude stopped playing and set her guitar next to the couch. That song possesed all of her misery, her pain..her truth. She couldn't help it if thats how she felt. She didn't want to feel that way, but everything was so messed up. If she didn't have Tommy to help her through everything, she probably would have killed herself a long time ago.

"Jude?" A deep raspy voice came from the doorway. Jude turned her head to see Tommy standing there, his hair slightly messy and his bare chest exposed. He was in his boxers and his eyes were half way open.

"Hey I didn't mean to wake you.." She said, wiping tears away.

Tommy came over and sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her.

"It's freezing in here. You're gonna get sick."

Jude smiled and kissed him passionately on the lips. After a few moments Tommy broke away.

"What was that for?" He asked, breathlessly.

Jude didn't say anything, instead she captured his lips again, this time more aggresively. Tommy eagerly accepted. She wrapped her arms around Tommy's neck and pulled his body closer to her. She was taking all of her emotions out on him. Anger, Sadness, everything she felt was pouring into him. She wanted to be hurt and she didn't care what she felt anymore. This was good for her. She did need this. She wanted this.

Jude's hands explored Tommy's back, running them over his muscles. They buldged out and curved perfectly under her palms. He was completely flawless; perfect in every way.

Tommy's hands held Jude's waist firmly. She positioned herself on top of him and his eyes flung open, reality finally started flooding in. He pulled from her and looked her in the eyes.

She gave him a weird look and she was very confused.

"Jude..we can't do this." He said, pulling her shirt sleeve up. It had fallen and her bra strap was exposed on her shoulder.

"What? Tommy, don't. I'm 18. We can." She assured, going in to kiss him again, but he stopped her.

"No girl, you're just upset right now. You don't need something else to add to the chaos." He assured, brushing her cheek lightly. She was shivering and her lips were quivering.

"Hey." He brought her into an embrace and the heat of his bare skin automatically warmed her. For a moment she just rested her head on his shoulder.

"Tommy?" She said, her breath nuzzling against his neck.

"Yeah?"

"I'm okay and I'm ready." She said, running her hand up his chest slowly, teasing.

If he would've had the strength to pull away..he would have, but he didn't. He just sat there letting her run her smooth fingers along his ribcage and up his colar bone.

Jude finally looked up at him and smiled, bringing a small smile to his lips as well. She captured his lips once again, first small and innocent. Her tounge outlined his bottom lip, asking for permission to enter and he quickly granted.

It started out innocent, but soon enough Tommy had Jude in his arms and he carried into his own bedroom, closing the door behind them.

**A/N - WARNING: The next chapter MAY contain adult situations..heh..MAY...not sure yet. Still debating. If it does, don't be surprised because you have been warned. Thanks again for the reviews and Please review this chapter as well. :) Love you guys!**


	24. Chapter 24 In the still of the night

**A/N - Okay first off, Thanks for all the reviews you guys! They were great! Second, My friend is a major pervert so she kept bugging me to write a "lemon" so, guess what? Y'all got a lemon! heh..Hope it doesn't suck too bad. I tried to make it realistic? You have no idea how hard it was for me to write it lol..**

**WARNING - I am not boosting the rating BUT there is a scene in here..It's not that graphic BUT just so no one gets offended, you have been warned. Please don't be offended?**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 24 - In the still of the night**

It started out innocent, but soon enough Tommy had Jude in his arms and he carried into his own bedroom, closing the door behind them.

--

Tommy carried Jude to the bed slowly, his lips never leaving hers. He carefully placed her on the bed and positioned himself over her. As he kissed her he ran his fingers up and down her sides, each time her shirt went up a little more. His fingers brushed against her skin and it tickled her, but felt so good at the same time. All she could do was smile, tears still swollen in her eyes.

Finally, Jude went for the edge of his boxers and started to pull them down. Tommy tensed and quickly broke from the kiss, looking down at her.

"Are you sure?" He asked, not wanting her to do anything against her will. She nodded and it was a good thing it was dark, a single tear strolled down her cheek.

"Okay." He said softly and hesitantly, bringing his hands to the end of her shirt and slowly lifting it over her head.

Jude pulled him back into the kiss and his hands roamed her bare back this time. Her skin was so smooth, she felt like a baby. A new born baby. He quickly brushed those thoughts away..they were pretty disturbing when thinking about the situation. After a few moments he unclasped her bra and she quickly tossed it aside.

Tommy didn't take the time to examine her, instead his hands went up and down her stomach and along her waist line, hesitating at the button of her pants.

"We don't have to do this." He assured, once again. She just pulled him once again into the kiss and decided to unbutton them herself. After doing so Tommy relaxed a little and things started to heat up. Jude's hands went to Tommy's hair and his were at Jude's waist, pulling her pants down slowly.

Nerves started to kick in and Jude started shaking. Tommy felt this and kissed her softly, assuring that it was going to be okay.

Her pants were off now and all that was left were her underwear. This was what she was in that horrible night that Tommy saw her. Daren, Jake, all of them. The memories flodded Tommy's mind, but he quickly brushed the memories away and continued to strip her from the last bit of clothing she had. He smiled down at her and he could tell she was blushing.

"You're perfect girl, don't be embarrassed." He cooed. She smiled back at him.

Tommy took a minute to pull the sheet over them before he continued anything, he also reached into the dresser beside them and grabbed something out of the drawer.

This was it.

"Jude.." He looked down at her searching for any sort of hesitation in her eyes. To both of their surprises, there was none.

"I love you, Tommy." She said slowly and shakily. He smiled and kissed her, slowly entering her. Of course the kiss meant something, but it was also to cut out the moan that would have escaped from her mouth.

As he pulled out of her for the first time, he pulled out of the kiss and she whimpered beneath him, tears running down her cheeks.

"Shh, I'm sorry, girl." He said, entering her again and kissing her tears away. Jude laid there in pain, shock, and she was numb all over again, still whimpering. How could something this painful..feel so good?It took a while beforethe pain went away, but when it did a new feeling overcame her; Need. Her hands ran over his back and her nails dug into his skin. He didn't mind. His lips were exploring her neck, and her shoulders. They wouldn't dare touch anywhere else. He wasn't like that..not with Jude. He wanted her first time to be special.

Tommy was being gentle with her, not rough and definitely not fast. Everything he did, he took it slow and careful. That was Tommy. He never wanted to hurt her. He quickly developed a steady rhythm and after a while he collapsed beside her, wrapping an arm around her small frame.

Both of them were breathing heavily, trying to catch their breaths and Jude was trying to think of something..anything. She couldn't..nothing would come to mind. The only thing her mind was focused on was the man laying next to her and the tears that were still running down her cheeks.

"Jude?" He asked, rubbing her arm.

"Mmm?"

"Are you okay?" He asked, uncertainty in his words.

She smiled to herself and sniffed.

"You sure know how to take alot out of a girl." She commented, her voice was still shaky. She looked up at him and he frowned back down at her.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." He said.

"I'm sore but other than that, I'm perfect." She stated.

"Good." He said, kissing her quickly. He got up and went into the bathroom for a minute before returning and laying in his previous position.

He kissed her cheek and turned to his side to where he was facing her. She did the same and her back faced his chest so he wrapped his arm around her waist and started to rub her arm again. She started to drift off, but before she fell asleep she heard a faint whisper.

"I love you too, girl." ..It was Tommy. She smiled and closed her eyes, letting herself fall asleep in his strong, protecting arms.

--

The sunlight danced across the room and finally hit Jude square in the eyes. She quickly opened them and looked around, she was in Tommy's room. She started to remember the night before and the pain came back. She could only smile to that. She turned around expecting to feel Tommy next to her, but his side of the bed was empty.

Jude sat up and held the sheet to her chest, looking around the room and trying to see out of the door, it was wide open. Nothing.

"Tommy?" She called, her voice was a little hoarse. Still nothing.

She looked around the room and saw a long shirt hanging on a recliner next to the bed so she grabbed it, trying to get over the fact he actually owned a long shirt. It was baggy too. She had never seen him in something like that. She quickly slipped it on and it reached a little below her theighs.

After doing so she walked out of the room and down the hall, going into the kitchen and spotting him behind the counter and on the phone. He was smiling. Good sign.

She walked over without saying anything and sat down on the opposite side of him. He smiled at her and told the person on the phone that 'Jude just woke up', surprising Jude a little.

"Who is it?" She asked, grabbing a doughnut from the pile in front of her and taking a bite out of it.

"Kwest."

Jude nearly choked on the doughnut.

"How's my mom? Is she okay?"

Tommy handed her the phone and Jude once again bombarded Kwest with questions. A few minutes later she hung up, smiling.

"She's okay.._and_ Sadie is coming home today." She said, now in a cheerful mood.

Tommy nodded and opened the fridge, taking out a jug of milk and pouring himself and Jude a cup.

"Take me to the hospital?" She asked and he nodded once again.

"Thanks." She said, taking the milk gratefully.

He drank his milk, watching her over his glass. She was pecking at the doughnut still. He couldn't help but watch her and smile.

"What?" She finally asked, noticing his gaze on her.

"Nothing." He said, continuing to drink his milk.

Jude finished her doughnut and noticed he was still staring at her so she picked up another one and threw it at him.

"You're such a pain, Quincy." She said, walking out of the room and leaving Tommy shocked and smiling even wider.

**A/N - Dun da da da! There it was..Told ya it wasn't that graphic. I can't make it that perverted..lol I'm just not like that. I tried to make it as sweet as possible, what did you guys think:) I love you guys so much! Thanks for the awesome reviews! Please review this one and tell me how bad it was?**


	25. Chapter 25 You're not mad?

**A/N- Hey you guys..thanks for the reviews. I feel like crap so I haven't written anything beyond this, I think the next chapter will be my last for this story, but I started a Gilmore girls fic for whoever that likes ggirls. Heh, hope some of you decide to check it out when I post it..which will be in like a week, once I get the story line completely down. Thanks again for the reviews and sorry I haven't updated sooner, I seriously do feel like crap.**

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 25 - You're not mad?**

Tommy and Jude walked into the hospital once again. It was like a routine now. They stopped at the nurses station to check in and then started on their way to Sadie's room.

"Hey, I'm gonna' check on my mom real quick, okay?" Jude said.

"Alright. I'll be with Kwest." Tommy agreed, kissing Jude before she went in the opposite direction.

Tommy walked in on Kwest and Sadie making out.

"Come on you guys, thats what got you here in the first place." He mocked, closing the door behind him.

"Hey Tom." Sadie said, smiling sweetly.

"Hey Tom, just the man I need to talk to." Kwest greeted.

"Yeah? what's up?" Tommy asked.

"I talked to Darius, you are officially a member of G-major and working with Jude again."

"You're not her producer anymore?" Tommy asked, slightly amused.

"Face it man, no one can make music with her unless it's you." Kwest smiled, watching Tommy grin.

"Where _is _Jude?" Sadie asked.

"She's checking on your mom." Tommy informed.

"Oh." Sadie said, looking down at the bundle of joy in her arms. She smiled at Jay and rocked him back and forth.

"You want to say hi to uncle Tommy?" Sadie asked in a kiddie voice, holding one of her hands out for Tommy to grab.

Tommy shook his head.

"I don't think so." He said, not wanting to hurt the kid.

"Aww come on Tommy." Sadie begged. Tommy finally gave in and came forward, grabbing Jay and holding him in his arms carefully.

--

Jude opened the door to her mother's room and walked in. It seemed to be warmer this time and the room was more bright. There were also flowers on the counter across the room.

"Hey mom." Jude said softly, walking up to her mom's bed.

"Jude." Her mother spoke timidly.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, sitting down next to her.

Just then the door opened and Stuart and Don walked in, both holding coffee.

"Jude, hey." Stuart greeted, surprised to see his daughter.

"Dad!" Jude got up and quickly embraced him. He kissed her on the cheek and started towards the bed.

"Hey Don." Jude said politely.

"Hey." Don replied, sitting on the opposite side of the bed.

"Um dad, can I talk to you outside for a second?" Jude asked.

"Sure babe." Stuart followed Jude out of the room and the two stood in the hallway.

Jude fiddled with her hands, searching for the words. Stuart decided to say something.

"Your mother told me about your problems lately..is everything better? I've been meaning to call, but work..you know." He said.

"Yeah, I'm much better, actually." She retorted.

"Good..good." He murmured.

"Yeah...dad?" Jude asked, still fidgeting.

"Yeah hun?"

"I don't live with mom anymore..and I'm sure you already talked to Sadie, she's moving in with Kwest."

"What do you mean you don't live with your mom anymore?"

"I'm living with someone." Jude said, quietly. Her eyes were fixed on the floor.

"With who?"

"..Tommy." She said, looking up and meeting his eyes.

"Tom?" He asked, trying to grasp the situation calmly.

"Yeah.." Jude said, biting her lip.

Stuart stood quiet for a few minutes. His eyes were distant and he was obviously thinking things over.

"Tom, huh?" He asked, a smirk growing across his lips.

"Yep." Jude wasn't sure if he was upset or not.

"For how long now?"

"A few days." She answered, still unsure of his emotions.

"And you are sure about this?"

"More than anything." She assured.

Stuart smiled and nodded.

"So, you're not mad?" Jude asked, hesitance in her voice.

"My little girl is growing up. You are 18, It doesn't matter what I think. I like Tom so no, I don't have a problem." Stuart said.

Jude smiled and hugged him, whispering 'Thank you' quietly.

"I'm going to go check on Sadie, I'll be back, okay?"

"Alright hun." Stuart kissed her forehead and let her walk down the hall. He watched her and smiled, thinking of how mature she was.

"My little girl..." He said to himself and then walked back into the room with Victoria and Don.

--

"Quincy, I never thought I'd see the day." Jude remarked, watching Tommy hold Jay in his arms, carefully.

"Funny." Tommy said, handing the kid to Kwest.

"Jude!" Sadie said, holding out her arms. Jude came over and hugged her quickly.

"Hey mom." She said, joking.

"Hey..there's something different about you." Sadie observed, looking Jude over.

"What? What are you talking about?" Jude asked, smiling.

"I don't know. You are like..glowing." Sadie said.

Jude gave her a weird look and then looked over at Kwest who was also eyeing her.

"She's right. There's something different about you." He agreed.

"Okay you guys need a shrink, or glasses, either or." Jude said, walking towards Tommy who was also smiling.

"Tom, you can't stop smiling," Sadie said, smirking as she also eyed Jude, "You too Jude, what's going on?" She asked, obviously catching on to the previous night.

"Sadie, I really have no idea what you're talking about." Jude said, sitting next to Tommy.

"Oh my god." Realization washed over Sadie and her eyes widened while her lips curved into a huge smile.

"What?" Jude asked.

"You..Tommy, Kwest, get out!" Sadie ordered, pointing towards the door.

"What?" Kwest laughed, watching Sadie's face turn serious.

"Okay, come on Tom." He pulled Tommy out of the room before things got ugly.

--

"Jude, why didn't you tell me?" Sadie squealed.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because Kwest was in here and I do have the least bit of cooth."

"I can't believe it! I'm so proud of you!" Sadie squealed once again.

Jude rolled her eyes and smiled at her sister's over exaggerated reaction.

--

"You didn't.." Kwest said, staring Tommy down. Tommy Just smiled.

"You did! Congrats, man." Kwest said, using his free hand to shake Tommy's. Kwest was still holding the baby so he couldn't use his other hand for too long.

"How was it?" Kwest asked, smirking.

"Kwest." Tommy gave him a look and Kwest laughed.

"Sorry, sorry." Kwest said.

"Okay well, let's get Sadie home." Kwest said, opening the door and motioning for Tommy to walk in first.

**A/N - Not the most interesting chapter, I know, but was it okay? Sorry --. Please review? Love you guys!**


	26. Chapter 26 Can a girl only dream?

**A/N - Hello y'all. First, I'd like to thank each and every one of you. You guys are the BEST. I can't believe most of you stuck with me through out this..it's been my longest story heh. I'm glad you guys seemed to like it though. :) This is my last chapter, if you haven't guessed already. I think it's a little cheezy, but I had to end it some how and well..this is what came out of it. Thanks again you guys, your reviews mean everything to me. Leave me one last shout! **

**Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star**

**Chapter 26 - Can a girl only dream?**

Before Tommy and Jude left the hospital, they stopped by Victoria's room again and this time Tommy got to have a short private chat with Stuart. He was pretty nice about everything. Afterwards, Tommy and Jude went back to their apartment. _Their_ apartment. It was so nice to know that she was finally welcome somewhere. That she was actually wanted somewhere.

Tommy walked in and hung his leather jacket on the coat hook on the wall and then stuffed his keys in his pocket. Jude walked passed him and headed into the studio. He just smiled and watched her. Deciding she needed some privacy, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water out of the fridge.

Jude walked into the studio and grabbed a notebook and a pen off a desk that Tommy had in there. She started scribbling things down off the top of her head. Ever since the night before, things had been flowing in and out. She needed to get it all out.

Tommy walked across the living room and was about to sit down on the couch when there was a knock on the door. He quickly got up and walked back to the door. When he opened it, his face dropped and he narrowed his eyes.

"Chaz."

"Tom, My man." Chaz said, holding out his hand for Tommy to shake. Tommy did, but it wasn't too friendly.

"It's been too long." Chaz said, walking inside. Tommy shut the door and rolled his eyes to himself. He was with Jude, he was happy, he didn't need the drama right now.

"Music helps, right?" Chaz asked, looking around Tommy's apartment.

"Nice place." He continued.

"Chaz, Cut the crap. What are you doing here?" Tommy asked, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pant-pockets.

"Alright, I'm gonna be straight up with you. Tom..the band-"

"What band?" Tommy interrupted, bringing his hands from his pockets and throwing them up in the air, carelessly.

"Our band. You know, The one you walked out on." Chaz confirmed.

Tommy shook his head in disbelief.

"Look man, I did Music Helps. I did not agree to anything else. The band is over. Boyz Attack is over." He said, finality in his voice.

"It's not over Tom. Think about it. Do you really want it to be over?" He asked, hopefulness in his voice. Tommy just stared at him for a few minutes before figuring out the right thing to say.

"I'm not a kid anymore, Chaz. I've grown up and grown out of the band. I'm sorry man, but it's long over." He said, actually sympathizing for his old friend.

"Tom, come on." Chaz tried again, basically begging.

"I'm sorry." Tommy said, watching his friend's smile grow weak.

"Tommy I wrote a new-" Jude said, walking into the living room.

"Song.. Chaz?" Jude asked, a smile growing across her lips.

Chaz took a minute to examine her before his eyes fell back on Tommy. He snorted and nodded.

"She is why, isn't she?" He asked, anger flooding his words.

"She has nothing to do with it." Tommy said between clenched teeth.

"Right." Chaz said, starting towards the door. Once he reached it he only turned back once to shake his head.

"Bye Tom." He knew it was the last time he'd ever see him. Tommy knew it too and only gave him a long, cold, hard stare before Chaz left.

Jude stayed quiet for a few minutes, noticing how tense Tommy was. She felt awkward interrupting their conversation which obviously put Tommy in the mood he was in.

"Tommy, what was he talking about?" Jude asked, coming closer to Tommy.

"Nothing." Tommy said, walking over to the couch and sitting, relaxing. Jude looked around the room, uncomfortably and then took a seat next to him.

"You okay?" She asked, timidly.

He looked down at her and soon his hardened expression faded and he smiled.

"About that song.." Tommy said, motioning for her to get the lyrics. She had placed them on the table in front of them once she saw Chaz.

"Oh, right." Jude picked up the lyrics and handed them to Tommy. He raised his eyebrows as he read and then began to bob his head. He must have been thinking of a beat or something. Jude loved watching him do that, he was concentrating so hard and his eyes were distant, but the prettiest blue when he did it. After a few minutes, without looking up, he told her to sing it.

"Tommy, I just made it..I don't know how I want to sing it yet," She said.

"Won't know until you try," He said Matter-of-factly. She sighed in defeat and bit her lip, thinking of a melody.

_"Steady breeze, Take me away_

_Promising song, My yesterday_

_Sheltering light, I feel your warmth_

_Jealous night, You are my fate.._

_Precious time, Lonely hours_

_A gentle touch, Or else I cowar_

_A broken path, A subtle smile_

She stopped singing and looked up at him.

"Why'd you stop?" He asked.

"I'm not feelin' it." She said, grabing the notebook from his hands and crossing a few things out. She then began to fill in the words that she crossed out with others. Tommy watched her intently. He watched every move she made, how she brushed her bangs from her eyes before she started to write. The way she bit her lip while she wrote. Everything. She amazed him.

"Okay, It's better now." She said handing him the notebook and looking up at him. He chuckled a little.

"It's better now?" He asked, mimicking her voice. She smiled and pushed him slightly.

"Is it better now?" He mocked again, getting up and backing towards his room.

"Quincy, You're asking for it." Jude warned, getting up and smirking at him. He just smiled and placed an arm around her waist, kissing the top of her head.

"Am I now?" He asked, pulling her into his bedroom and shutting the door behind them.

At that moment Jude knew nothing was better than this. She was finally with the man of her dreams, well..her recent dreams. She wasn't a boyz attacker like alot of other girls, but she had gotten to know Tommy, To need him, And most of all..to love him. Everything was finally going right. So to put it simply.. Can a girl only dream? Maybe in some cases, but luckily, Jude had her dream come true.

**A/N - So? Whatdaya think? Thanks again you guys. Seriously.**

**-Kristen**


End file.
